Thursday, January 21, 2010


Quite naturally, the program DD likes best on network TV looks headed for cancellation.

ABC is running through episodes of Better Off Ted at the rate of two a week on Tuesdays.

Ted Crisp, played by Jay Harrington, is the head of R&D at Veridian Dynamics. This means part of every episode is devoted to Ted checking on whatever Drs. Phil and Lem are working on, always some cracked but evil thing to be sold to the US military as a weapon.

The second episode on Tuesday had the doctors -- who are always fumbling and upset --worrying about their reputation as makers of evil.

Ted recommends they clear the lab of their evil inventions to make a better impression.

"Get rid of everything except the ficus," he says. "You mean the man-eating ficus?" asks Lem.

They run through indeterminate things on the shelves: "kills ... slowly kills ... quickly kills ... helps shed unwanted pounds ... but then kills ..."

They endeavor to make something which they will not allow to be used for evil, better than their laser fruit-juicer which is used to peel people by the US military.

And that would be the perfect bagel, which subsequently is found to taste horrible although it's lighter than air and floats across the room at the end of the episode like one of the pie plate flying saucers in Plan 9 From Outer Space.

The other comedy riff revolves around Dr. Phil's language translator which is being pitched to a German company. The Germans are subsequently frightened by its giant robot voice.

"We believe the translator will create a furor in Germany, a furor that will sweep across Europe crushing ..." says one of the characters.

"Oh God, we have unhappy Germans ... nothing good has ever come from that," says Ted's boss, Veronica.

After modification, the translator is then retested by Ted and Greta, the CEO of the German company, in the bedroom -- with eminently watchable results.

"Dammit, I told him not to put Klingon on this thing," Ted says later. Well, it was either that or the Nixon tapes.

Watch "Lust in Translation" from Better Off Ted here. Only 21 minutes!


Blogger J. said...

You know, I've never watched the show, and I feel as if I am missing something good now. Damn you, because I really needed to add to my "Chuck", "Leverage", "Fringe", "Burn Notice", "Caprica" schedule.

10:05 AM  
Blogger George Smith said...

I'm betting Caprica's really going to get good. Fringe disappointed me a little on Thursday. A bit stodgy and rote.

10:15 AM  

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