Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Warning: Satire. But taken from real life. And mutilated embellished.

My husband says I worry too much. Naturally, I don't agree. But I was out and about yesterday and my mind began to work overtime.

Given the nature of the work I do - writing fanciful things - I admit my brain doesn't necessarily think like other people's brains.

As I went on my way, I noticed there was nobody watching my street. There was a little boy playing, throwing rocks and stones across it. Some of the rocks didn't go far enough and landed in the street. Others went too far and bounced on the neighbor's lawn, almost up to the porch. He did this fast as a cat.

In retrospect I think I should have stopped him, demanded he take me to his mother, been part of the 'village' that it takes to raise our children correctly. Honestly, there just wasn't time, he was that fast.

I thought to myself, if that little boy can be so rude, it would be easy for a team of terrorists to come down my street and get away with just about anything. They could spread tacks and nails in the road at night. Or they could put a cinder block in a paper bag and leave it in the middle of the road. Someone would be coming home tired later, see the bag, not think much of it and not steer to avoid it. That would cause a nasty accident. Or they could just go out on an overpass and drop that cinderblock into oncoming traffic and run away.

They could lob Molotov cocktails through windows, like the little boy throwing rocks near the porch. Why stop at Molotovs? They could just buy guns, break into homes and shoot people after midnight. If they planned it carefully, they could get away clean before anyone could react. Or they could follow the pattern of the Beltway sniper and his accomplice.

So the kid's actions left me with the feeling that terrorists can attack just about anything and we're not safe.

Later, at the restaurant, I saw the open salad bar and the dressing in vats.

How easy it would be to put something in the dressing. And someone did -- I forget who -- many many years ago. That made an entire town sick. What if a terrorist with hepatitis punched a hole in his tongue and spit into those vats when no one was watching?

Or terrorists could get jobs at bakeries. They could put glass and needles in pastries and loaves of bread. And once the campaign started, that terror team would wait a few days, maybe a week or two, to signal to another terror man at a bakery, maybe halfway across the nation, to put his glass and needles to work. It could go on for awhile, intermittently, doing much to destroy the confidence in small shop baking in this country. Not to mention the pain and worry caused when the unfortunate gets a needle in the mouth. This was done in England a few years ago.

Fresh, unwrapped merchandise like fruits, vegetables and baked goods could easily be sprinkled with something awful - I don't want to get into it too much. I don't want to be accused of giving the terrorists access to plans and inspiration on the web.

When I went to the movie theatre I also thought how easy it would be to get a job at the concession stand. Well, it might be a little harder because with raging unemployment, since people are applying everywhere. But we know that terrorists are patient and tenacious.

So you know what I mean.

How elementary it would be to slip a little rat bait into the iced-tea dispenser, maybe a little more into the butter for the popcorn. Hell, it would be easy for terrorists to just go to the bathroom, piss in a carton, bring it back out and pour some of that into the popcorn butter or soda fountain. They could do that regularly and no one might suspect. But people might just be put off buying stuff in the lobby. I know I won't be ordering anything, anymore. They don't screen those employees closely and it's just not secure.

A little of poison this in the food here, a handful of deadly that in a big jar of something being prepared in Missouri -- multiple mysterious illnesses and deaths could result.

Can you imagine the panic a pattern of poisonings would cause if they all happened on the same day in, say, New York, Miami, Chicago, Dallas, Seattle and Los Angeles?

Can you not just imagine? The mind reels.

Our government leaders don't talk publicly about things like this. That's because they don't want to cause undue alarm.

The introduction of deadly diseases to our far-flung, unpatrolled produce fields and livestock herds is still very simple, too. Diseased insects or unnaturally predacious and hard to eradicate arthropod pests could be released. Rats with fleas carrying bubonic plague are another option. Pestiferous water weeds, snails and snakehead fish carried in simple aquariums in the back of RVs could be introduced into pristine water resources and parks with lakes.

The latter was done at Lake Davis in California. Someone kept putting voracious and fast-breeding pickerel in the water. The government had to poison the entire watery system twice to kill them all. The economy was made a mess, tourism destroyed, the locals turned despondent. They never caught who did it!

Terrorists could also employ the old trick of acid throwing. It would be virtually impossible to defend against what initially appear to be random acts of acid throwing, but coordinated across the country. Sure we would get some of these guys but people would be in shock, afraid to go out to shop or congregate at events. The supply of motorcycle helmets with windscreens would soon be exhausted and people would get desperate.

It's true that not since 9-11 has there been a successful terrorist attack on American soil. But our power grids in major cities have been compromised, so have some major government computer systems and enemies from foreign lands can still cross our borders to pursue all manner of diabolical plans against us.

Let me ask you - when was the last time you saw a security guard in your grocery store? What, yesterday? Oh, OK -- forget that.

How about a few policemen in your neighborhood? OK, forget that, too.

Are you confident that your market thoroughly screens the backgrounds of its employees? Yeah, not so much, right?

How about those minimum wage workers at the movie theatre or the fast food restaurant? How about people who work at warehouses or in the fields? There's no security anywhere.

If I don't stop thinking about this, I'll wet myself. Maybe I just need a stiff drink.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Really, here -- the original -- at the Huffington Post. They let anyone in there, don't they?!


Post a Comment

<< Home