Wednesday, February 04, 2009

HOLDING CELL USA: Dog crap ABC show fails in ratings

Whetting anticipation that it is building a case for cancellation, Homeland Security USA's lack of success among viewers contributed to ABC's poor ratings showing on Tuesday nights.

"ABC was a distant fourth with a 3.5/5, with The CW's 1.4/2 trailing," reported a ratings blog here.

Measuring the 18-49 viewer demographic, "American Idol" on Fox drew an audience of 26 million. A rerun of NCIS was second. "Officious Search USA" was fourth, behind NBC's "Biggest Loser," another odious reality TV show.

It's difficult for Detention USA to delve new and fresh depths of wretchedness each week. After all, how many cars or boxes or loops of intestine can be searched as part of the war on drugs before the routine gets stale? When does video of people handcuffed to office chairs or stanchions become cliche?

However, on Tuesday night it's creators gamely tried, trotting out a segment in which a white man in a wheelchair was harassed over a buzzing noise being emitted by a piece of luggage he hadn't yet picked up at baggage return. The camera crew shows the man in wheelchair awkwardly trying to open a suitcase in order to show our legion of protectors an accidentally switched-on vibrator.

Haw! Haw! What a laff riot! Look at that old cripple! Those terrorists'll never get anything past these guys!

Then it was off to another segment in which an American trucker was put in holding cell because illegal aliens were found riding on top of his big rig. While the truck driver did not know they were there, and the border police could not (sadly for show architects) arrest him, one warned the man that the incident would be attached to his name and put in a database, where it could come back to haunt him forever.

And you don't want to know about the ill-treated and subsequently destroyed small birds discovered stashed away in some Chinamen's bags. Everyone had to don hazmat suits and breathing filters for those.

DD repeats the call for the show's creator to be tied to a post and whipped for weaving destitute brown-skinned people who can't speak English (or an old white person in a wheel chair), detained in ugly airports or at border inspection points, into a blighted tapestry professing to show uniformed guards and process workers keeping us safe and free.

Homeland Security USA -- from the archives.


Blogger Risa said...

Thanks for turning me on to the most nauseating show on TV. I actually think, just from watching the clips, that it'll do Homeland Security more damage than good and will "shed some light" on the ridiculousness of the whole thing.
i particularly liked the clip of the bellydancer being interrogated. Oh yah, baby!!

10:41 AM  

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