LEARN TO MARCH AND TAKE ORDERS: It's all about good government. Free morning trip to Harrisburg, Pennsyltucky, too


"Left, left, left right left!"

A year ago your host wrote about what a fun time he had at Keystone Boys State summer camp thirty years ago. (See here.)

Since then it has been a surprisingly popular read. And every summer, past and present Keystone Boys Staters write to tell DD what a swell guy he is for publishing it. Their eloquence is humbling.

"You went to all this fucking time to bash a summer program for high school juniors," wrote one enthusiastic camper, just finished with his one-week treat at Shippensburg State Teachers College.

"I attended Keystone Boys' [sic] State just last week and had quite an enjoyable time. I did not find myself being surrounded by military types, or pushed into the Army in any way. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to join the army, I fucking hate war! Keystone Boys' State is a nonpartisan political science program, and I felt that it gave me insight into the political process that I will need very much for my future career path (city government)."

Another high-performance KBS student/scholar wrote:

"Your a retard dude. I went to the same Keysonte Boys State 2007 and your claims about doing drills and 'military' inspections are foolish and you are sadly misinformed ... your an idiot ... PS- Your story about 'Gunny' is probable fake juse like everything else is your essay or w/e it is."

One of the objections to DD's description of Keystone Boys State (ca. the early Seventies) was its nature as a camp administered by military men. Campers were herded, minded and ordered around by active duty members of the four services for the duration of a week in the summer even though it was ostensibly under the umbrella/direction of the Pennsylvania American Legion.

But perhaps the barking of orders, inspections and compulsory afternoon intramural sport have been packed away, relics of a much earlier era. However, in the early Seventies, it was a firm and strong part of the command structure.

So DD browsed out to the KBS website to see new things. Turns out, KBS campers now have a semi-daily newspaper. Called The Citizen's Voice, it is from a copy that DD excerpts the pic of a squad of KBSers standing reverently at attention as a trio of appointed leaders and the American flag parade by.

Readers will note the various color-coded KBS shirts campers are required to wear, depending on their status. For example, thirty years ago, red shirts were for KBS community band members. If you were in the band, you got to eat before everyone else, so acquiring a red shirt was something of a status symbol.

KBS prides itself on the installation of leadership values in its charges. And it also purports to teach how government and political parties run.

Do you think the citizenry of our great nation ought to wear different colored shirts so it would be easy to ascertain their standing at a glance?

If you're very good, maybe I'll let you have a red or blue shirt, little boy! Yes, DD likes that!

In the real world, it's reasonable to assume that many young boys would be jazzed at the idea of attending a camp for followers of rules and orders. The marshal verve, the spirit of obedience and respect for authority are strong things. Plus it's a chit of important-looking padding one can add to the college or military application.