Sunday, June 25, 2006

WEALTHY ROCK 'N' ROLLERS NOW INTO GERITOL, STOP THE PRESSES

The Sunday New York Times always contains some humorous atrocity on popular music. Today was no exception with a feature bemoaning the physical entropy which time administers to all. Only it's worse for stadium rockers because the big entertainment business bottom-line suffers. Or so it was said.

Jesus fucking wept!
"Iron Man Slows and So Does The Industry" read the title. You can guess the script. Ozzy Osbourne can't do as many dates at Ozzfest this year. He has to take a bit of a rest from the rigors of the stage. Last year around this time, he was promoting a CD set and telling talk show hosts how he beat down a robber who had invaded his castle. Some were less than generous in their opinions.

"Keeping veteran rockers on the road is getting harder every year," writes the Times. " . . . the industry's war horses are going to do their best to keep going. In part that means reining in old excesses."

Kiss takes more ibuprofen than cocaine. "Aerosmith makes regular use of a nutritionist."

And a p.r. firm to tell the world of their infirmities.

When singer Steven Tyler had to take time out for surgery in late spring, it was an opportunity for a publicity mailing.

Osbourne has an eye, ear, nose and throat man on call. Miami Steve van Zandt has a special diet and warns to cut down on meat-eating. Of course, the rock 'n' roll generation's Lawrence Welk believes his comrades have more energy than the young and "when we're gone, it's over." Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

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