[Uncle Sam]



Uncle Sam ... responsible for such patriotic anthems as 'Red Zone Bar-B-Q [Flat Foot Fallouja]' and 'Posing for Pix in Abu Ghraib,' not to mention the Angry Samoans update 'The Shrub Killings')... a day will come when we look back and laugh. History works like that.” -- The Village Voice, November 2004

Read the original.

"Iraq 'N' Roll!" is a rock operetta. Guest stars include Dick Cheney, Iraq's Minister of Information for Victorious Call and Combat, Count Rumsfeld and the Wicked Witch of Abu Ghraib. Fourteen cuts of war fever classic rock, including the Dick Cheney-penned “We Will Not Relent,” the jazzy “Posing for Pix in Abu Ghraib,” and the doom metal of “Mortared at Midnite.” Listeners just will not be able to resist tapping their feet to the Foghat-like thumping beat of “Bad Guys & Gals Boogie.”

New! Buy Uncle Sam & the JDAMs CD or other fine things. Cheap!

New! Special "Do Not Use Weapons of Mass Destruction!" T-shirt offer. Or, this attractive Iraq 'N' Rollin' Uncle Sam shirt! Cheap.

A JDAM is the Joint Direct Attack Munition, the finest guided bomb in world history. It is the ultimate expression of American technological might, the harbinger of freedom and liberty, sounding day and night to the rest of the world.

[ULTOR/MULTOR strategic plan]

There are no weapons of mass destruction included with this CD. They're all somewhere else.

Map of Iraq and secret plan of bad guy and gal strategy compiled by the ULTOR (Ultimate Victor) and MULTOR (Monster Ultimate Victor) combat artificial intelligence machine theologians in the Pentagon's Special Office of Strategies for Reduction of Adversaries.

Uncle Sam is a trademark of the United States. Uncle Sam wants you, you may fire when you are ready, Gridley; we begin bombing in five minutes, shock and awe, remember the Maine, "We are Coming!", Massive Ordnance Air Blast (MOAB), beware of careless talk, loose lips sink ships, Orange Alert, first pull up then pull down, potrzebie and "Mission Accomplished!" are also slogans & symbols which may add to the enjoyment of "Iraq 'N' Roll!"

New! MP3: We Will Not Relent! Dick Cheney testifies America will overcome in the national kampf struggle.

MP3: Bad Guys & Gals Boogie. Tap your feet, damnit, or we begin bombing.

Advanced mechanized mayhem, Bombs 'r' U.S., and other entertainments:

New! A Pentagon artist's conception of someone getting their head blown off by a JDAM.

That's Entrail-Tainment! What's worse -- getting tortured at Abu Ghraib, or volunteering for Fear Factor?

JDAM the Destructor.

Uncle Sam called it Shock and Awe: The Complete Idiot's Guide to War.

The War Wanker.

Postcards from Hell: Don't use WMDs or Uncle Sam will bomb the stuffing out of you. Ah, the heck with it, Uncle Sam's gonna bomb the stuffing out of you, anyway.

Bugsplat -- your software solution for bomb efficiency enhancement.

[Freedom being built one JDAM at a time.] Massive Ordnance Air Blast.

Jam the JDAM? Never!

The Saddamizers. Our bombmakers, what a great sense of humor.

Fragen Sie, bitte: Uncle Sam