ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER SUPERWEAPON
America's many enemies tremble thinking about what will roll out of the weaponshops next. Consumer confidence may slump, unemployment increase, Dennis Hopper find he has cancer, but somewhere US arms manufacturers will be pushing the envelope.
"General Atomics Electromagnetic Systems division (GA-EMS) has successfully fired multiple rounds for the first time in a prototype of its new Blitzer electromagnetic railgun air defence prototype system," reads a corporate announcement.
Blitzer, sort of like The Blitz and blitzkrieg, other really winning words in the world lexicon. Or perhaps it was just named in honor of the CNN fellow.
"These tests were performed at the US Army Dugway Proving Grounds under a contract with the Office of Naval Research. Testing is scheduled to continue through to the second quarter of next year and will culminate with the launch of tactically relevant aerodynamic rounds.
"GA-EMS adds Blitzer will provide transformational, leap-ahead air defence capability against a number of threats for both naval and land-based applications."
In case, you know, we misplace a few B-52s and F-15s and the Taliban get 'em. Or in case China decides to launch a strategic bombing campaign against California. Or we decide to start bombing one of the usual candidates in the next few years and they try to fight back for a week or so.
It could happen!
Everyone knows American men hunt because they enjoy safety and the color orange, too!
The Blitzer is brought to you by the same fine company that safeguards us and Pakistan with the Predator and Reaper drones.
When a car bomb goes off in Peshawar and kills one hundred, it's certainly not because America and General Atomics haven't sicced enough wonder weapons on 'em.
More coming everyday, too.
What's that? You've just been fired?
Well, you can sleep better knowing that "with a muzzle velocity of more than twice that of conventional systems, Blitzer provides significant increases in standoff and lethality at lower cost without the need for propellant or high explosives.
"These tests are an important first step toward demonstrating the viability of a revolutionary technology that will significantly improve the safety and protection of our warfighters at sea and on land," said a General Atomics advanced robot man for the corporate p.r. statement.
Hail Blitzer! May all its test blitzes be blitzing!

A project leader from General Atomics looks on as a prototype of
the company's transformational Schlager autonomous defender is readied for shipment to the Afghanistan/Pakistan theatre for the making of things more peaceful and secure.
Pakistanis not thrilled by General Atomics stuff -- get snippy with Clinton. The nerve! Don't they know the amount of sweat, toil and God-given US-of-A savvy that goes into a Predator drone assassination mission?! Our remote flyboys have to live in condos in Las Vegas, fer cryin' out loud.
America's many enemies tremble thinking about what will roll out of the weaponshops next. Consumer confidence may slump, unemployment increase, Dennis Hopper find he has cancer, but somewhere US arms manufacturers will be pushing the envelope.
"General Atomics Electromagnetic Systems division (GA-EMS) has successfully fired multiple rounds for the first time in a prototype of its new Blitzer electromagnetic railgun air defence prototype system," reads a corporate announcement.
Blitzer, sort of like The Blitz and blitzkrieg, other really winning words in the world lexicon. Or perhaps it was just named in honor of the CNN fellow.
"These tests were performed at the US Army Dugway Proving Grounds under a contract with the Office of Naval Research. Testing is scheduled to continue through to the second quarter of next year and will culminate with the launch of tactically relevant aerodynamic rounds.
"GA-EMS adds Blitzer will provide transformational, leap-ahead air defence capability against a number of threats for both naval and land-based applications."
In case, you know, we misplace a few B-52s and F-15s and the Taliban get 'em. Or in case China decides to launch a strategic bombing campaign against California. Or we decide to start bombing one of the usual candidates in the next few years and they try to fight back for a week or so.
It could happen!
Everyone knows American men hunt because they enjoy safety and the color orange, too!
The Blitzer is brought to you by the same fine company that safeguards us and Pakistan with the Predator and Reaper drones.
When a car bomb goes off in Peshawar and kills one hundred, it's certainly not because America and General Atomics haven't sicced enough wonder weapons on 'em.
More coming everyday, too.
What's that? You've just been fired?
Well, you can sleep better knowing that "with a muzzle velocity of more than twice that of conventional systems, Blitzer provides significant increases in standoff and lethality at lower cost without the need for propellant or high explosives.
"These tests are an important first step toward demonstrating the viability of a revolutionary technology that will significantly improve the safety and protection of our warfighters at sea and on land," said a General Atomics advanced robot man for the corporate p.r. statement.
Hail Blitzer! May all its test blitzes be blitzing!
A project leader from General Atomics looks on as a prototype of
the company's transformational Schlager autonomous defender is readied for shipment to the Afghanistan/Pakistan theatre for the making of things more peaceful and secure.
Pakistanis not thrilled by General Atomics stuff -- get snippy with Clinton. The nerve! Don't they know the amount of sweat, toil and God-given US-of-A savvy that goes into a Predator drone assassination mission?! Our remote flyboys have to live in condos in Las Vegas, fer cryin' out loud.

2 Comments:
Well that explains the Predator hits on civilians...
"Drop your weapons!"
Nervous Pakistani tribesman throws away his AK-47 and drops his RPG-7
"You now have ten seconds to comply..."
If we just had even more steely Dick Joneses.
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