Monday, November 17, 2008

GOT YOU IN A STRANGLEHOLD, BABY! Then he crushed your face

"The election of Obama is an example of Americans voting against their own self interest," wrote Ted Nugent on Sunday. Nugent's column runs weekly in the Waco, TX, newspaper and virtually nowhere else.

"[The election is] also further evidence of the dumbing down of America," the Nuge adds.

If you're one of DD's Euro-readers, perhaps you want to know what Waco's famous for.

Well, there's the Branch Davidian massacre.

And there's Baylor University. It's college football team is the perennial doormat of the Big 12 conference. Baylor is a Christian college -- try not to sneer -- and it no longer bans dancing. That's good. "Footloose" was a very popular movie in the United States, you know.

"[Americans] are dunces, products of a failed public education system," continued the Nuge, emphasizing why Barack Obama was elected.

Yessirree, the Nuge has been busy. In addition to his book, "Ted, White & Blue," he's written a column for a right-wing opinion site, Human Events.

The problem, Ted relates, is that Republicans have been too wimpy, too tolerant, too all inclusive. Republicans have gotta get the Calvinist iron back in and kick out all the RINO's (Republicans in Name Only) who diluted the strict conservative message.

Since George W. Bush is leaving, there's one less big RINO to kick around and so the job is starting out on the right foot, we think.

"Consensus building is for wimps and soulless people who stand for nothing," instructs Ted. "Compromise is not about being tolerant: these days, it’s about giving up conservative principles.

"We must not make the mistake of keeping the GOP tent so big that there’s room for RINOs ..."

Nugent informs readers that "[consensus] building means compromising values and cutting deals with the socialist prankster punksters whose goal it is to turn America into EuroAmerica."

I know Ted's onto something here and DD is in full support.

The GOP needs to get more white, male and rural -- except for Sarah Palin and Michelle Malkin. (Palin's great because she brings in the White Dudes for Palin demographic, guys between 25-35 who harbor forbidden secret love for strict women who'll smack their penises with a hammer and wear shiny stiletto-heeled boots in the bedroom.)

Also needed in the GOP revitalization effort are a couple of guys who aren't white.

"Newt Gingrich, Jed Babbin, Governor Jindal of Louisiana, Thomas Sowell, Glenn Beck ... [they] need to turn up the heat and bring this less government, more individual freedom and strong national defense revolution to a boil," Nugent adds.

Well, there are only two non-white guys in there. One -- Bobby Jindal -- is governor of the state where the Bush administration's botched disaster response drove a couple hundred thousand African Americans out.

Ah, you can't have everything. It'd be stupid to make the GOP tent too big, right? Where would we put all those people?

About now, you're probably thinking DD doesn't like the Nuge. You are so wrong!

I was one of the few people in America who bought Love Grenade at BestBuy last year and liked it!

And DD wrote this about the Nuge's penultimate studio album, 2002's Craveman:

"The toting of more hot, whirling metal to the fray is an American white-boy religious practice. Whether it's 30 seconds over Baghdad, 30 seconds in the woodlot, or 30 seconds [on stage] in Pontiac, crushing the foe or audience under an avalanche of high explosives—TNT or the acoustic kind—makes the old rod hard ... Ted fans don't care about his flappin' gums. Annoyance is a key ingredient of the great Nuge shtick. There's joy in listening to it because the gibes are toss-offs, scatting as entry point for the relentless monsterification of '50s rock and roll licks."

That was published in the Village Voice here! And the Village Voice -- well, let's just say that at one time there was no bigger news place in the US for leftist socialist pansies! (Then it was taken over by some douche bags from Phoenix -- that's in a red state -- and all its editors were fired. But that's another story.)

So don't be thinking DD doesn't enjoy a steady diet of Ted. It keeps me strong.

In the recent election, three people voted for Ted Nugent in

That's three more than voted for you or me, buddy.

A Ted Nugent kind of guy

No day is complete without your Tetanus shot.

Without it, you'd be all stiff. You'd have lockjaw!

Liberalism is a mental disorder, informs an expert. One of the symptoms of liberalism is "creating and reinforcing perceptions of victimization."

Example: Americans elected Barack Obama because they are dunces, products of a failed public education system. Or, the reason the GOP lost the election was because it was stabbed in the back by RINO's -- Republicans in Name Only.

"[And liberals] are like teenagers whose will-to-be-gratified was never subdued, and now cannot grasp the simple logic of what is being said to them ... They are so emotionally obsessed with getting what their hearts want that they are unwilling to listen to reason. That is why liberals resort to personal attacks, name-calling, accusing, yelling, discrediting, or changing the subject ..."

And "Barack Obama is our King Saul" ?!?

Cheat sheet

"Stranglehold" -- from the album, Ted Nugent. [1]


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