Sunday, June 17, 2007

TWO SYLLABLE WORDS TOO ARCANE IN LINDALE, TX: The wit and wisdom of Miranda Lambert's fans

A few weeks ago DD put up an entry on Miranda Lambert, a country pop star with a new album entitled Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It was a collection of the deadening and repetitive cant published in daily newspapers across the nation in advance of her album's release.

It also included a rewrite/parody of a piece on Lambert built off the original which ran in the Los Angeles Times. That portion was filled with a number of moderately amusing and fairly obvious landmines.

The entry generated a steady stream of readers and last week some fans of Lambert's stumbled upon it. At which point, one of them reposted it to her website and a landmine went off.

Brows furrowed in MirandaLand. Some wondered whether it was real. Had their gal "dialed drunk" to a reporter?

Wasn't it illegal to write things like that?

However, the best parts were reserved for the use of the word pilfer. It had been used in one of the "quotes" nestled within the spoof piece.

Pilfer was too complex a word.

It took me right back to Pine Grove, Pennsyltucky, in Schuylkill County, where if you used a word that others didn't know, even a simple one, the people who didn't understand the word held you up to be scoffed at.

Ha-ha, Smith wouldn't come out the other day, went a convenient story in junior high used as a putdown, because I was too busy reading a dictionary. Ho-ho! Hilarious! A real rib-tickler, right up there with "Hey, Four Eyes!"

The quote in question in the Lambert piece on this blog was an obvious rewritten plant:
"I'm not trying to be this badass chick all the time but if someone wants to try and pilfer from my can of strawberries, that's where I'm going to get them," Lambert [said].

A few of Lambert's fans believed it to show it was clearly not her.

Ya think?

"Pilfer?!?!?" wrote one. "We are from Lindale, TX -- we don't use the word pilfer!!"

"And, what does pilfer even mean?!," added another. "Why not say 'jack' or 'steal'?" the fan wrote, answering her first question. "Seriously. Who even says that??"

"I don't even use the word pilfer," the conversation went on. "I can't even be bothered to look up the real definition."

"Count me in in the whole pilfer thing," announced another. "I certianly [sic] wouldn't know how to use it in a sentence."

Here, gentle fan, graduate of Gobble-Wallah High School in Lindale, TX, part of the United States, is how to use the root -- pilfer -- in a sentence.

It's a famous usage, one that has been shown on TV in Lindale, home of Miranda Lambert and others, a few times a year, every year, for the past few decades.

"The pilfering of food is a very serious occurrence on board a ship." -- Captain Queeg

DD couldn't have asked for a better gift than to be found by the community of

It underlined the original point of the article, stated plainly but somewhat differently, that pop music journalists write ebullient phonied-up intelligence-insulting crap about stars in genres they mostly don't have the time of day for because usually, unless a special dispensation has been made for it through chart-topping status, they deem the makers and fans of it beneath them.

The delivery is always the same: Here's the star, in this case Miranda Lambert, hot out of Dullsville, dressed up for a day. It's the new cool, because it's so -- like -- genuine.

Eyes roll.

Take me back, country roads, to the place, I bee-long. Pennsyl-tucky, Mountain Mama! Take me home, to where they don't ... know too many words.

No link provided.


Blogger Brian said...

Reminds me of a cartoon I saw many, many years ago of a bemused civilian standing before the desk sargeant in a police station with an officer telling the sargeant "He has an obscene bumper sticker on his car that says 'ESCHEW OBFUSCATION'"

6:14 AM  

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