THE DAILY MUSHROOM CLOUD: Beware of 'leaked' intelligence agency report


Write more about nuclear attack. Please.

Blog readers know not a week goes by without some pack of dreary fools turning in a news story or a report or a television spot on imminent nuclear attack. Everyone pretends to have the latest hot intelligence on the issue while actually serving the the same warmed-over excrement, again and again. And it's been done so frequently most people simply tune them out, as is proper.

In the real world, a smoke alarm that beeps continuously is considered to be defective and the battery is plucked from it.

However, the war on terror is often not a part of the real world and the mental defectives in intelligence agencies are not so easily plucked from the fold. So, instead of inspiring self-examination, an increasing note of panic, as if it were needed, has been seen creeping into nuclear attack reports. "No one is listening to us!" -- some now scream.

But here at DD Central we keep a tally so you don't have to!

In this week's installment, the usual suspects are rounded up:

"AL-QAEDA leaders in Iraq are planning the first “large-scale” terrorist attacks on Britain and other western targets with the help of supporters in Iran, according to a leaked intelligence report," writes a British newspaper.

"Spy chiefs warn that one operative had said he was planning an attack on 'a par with Hiroshima and Nagasaki' in an attempt to 'shake the Roman throne', a reference to the West.

"Another plot could be timed to coincide with Tony Blair stepping down as prime minister, an event described by Al-Qaeda planners as a 'change in the head of the company'.

"The report, produced earlier this month and seen by The Sunday Times, appears to provide evidence that Al-Qaeda is active in Iran and has ambitions far beyond the improvised attacks it has been waging against British and American soldiers in Iraq."

The report in question, produced by a Brit intelligence service, could be seen as another in a long line of shabby jobs. Or it could be interpreted as something fake, possibly contributed by the imagination of a newspaper reporter, meant to gin up concern over terror capabilities. Or it could be also seen as the product of morons who really need to apply themselves to something more productive other than the passing on of every molecule of hot-air and wishful thinking intercepted from jihadists.

"The report was compiled by the Joint Terrorism Analysis Centre (JTAC) - based at MI5’s London headquarters - and provides a quarterly review of the international terror threat to Britain," writes the newspaper.

The document also states, according to the newspaper: “While networks linked to AQ [Al-Qaeda] Core pose the greatest threat to the UK, the intelligence during this quarter has highlighted the potential threat from other areas, particularly AQI [Al-Qaeda in Iraq] ... “A member of this network is reportedly involved in an operation which he believes requires AQ Core authorisation. He claims the operation will be on ‘a par with Hiroshima and Naga-saki’ and will ‘shake the Roman throne’. We assess that this operation is most likely to be a large-scale, mass casualty attack against the West.”

In case you haven't teased the fine detail from this, what the newspaper is trying to imply is a real howler -- that terrorists in Iraq may have gotten their hands on a nuclear weapon.

However, even mainstream newsmen occasionally see they've crossed a line in terms of credibility. Therefore, the following waffle:

"Despite aspiring to a nuclear capability, Al-Qaeda is not thought to have acquired weapons grade material ... Last year Al-Qaeda’s leader in Iraq called on nuclear scientists to apply their knowledge of biological and radiological weapons to 'the field of jihad'."

Note the obvious error. One doesn't automatically think of "nuclear scientists" as experts on biological weapons.

The original.