MORE ABUNDANCE OF CAUTIONOSIS: Complete lack of common sense as a job requirement

With GlobalSecurity.Org Senior Fellow T-shirt on and fresh from the dryer, this eruption of abundance-of-cautionosis speaks for itself, prompting the reasonable to ask: "Is there a test for employment in the preparedness industry which screens out everyone with common sense?"

"Emergency officials in Safford, Ariz., decided to be cautious when they found a white powdery substance near a dumpster with 'Anthrax' scrawled on its side," reported UPI.

"Or they could have called a heavy metal band aficionado.

"Officials said the substance is flour. And they now believe Anthrax is a tagger's tribute to the heavy metal band.

" 'We didn't get the connection with Anthrax the band at first,' Graham County bioterrorism coordinator Brian Douglas said. Investigators saw the words 'AC/DC' and 'Iron Maiden' on another side of the dumpster then realized Anthrax is the name of a band.

"Police also found empty flour bags in the dumpster.

"Even after discovery of the flour bags and the realization that Anthrax most likely related to the band, Douglas said he wanted to be safe.

" 'We decided to get our ducks in a row,' he said. 'It went from an emergency to a non-emergency, but we decided to test it anyway.'

"The test results were negative for anthrax, plague, tularemia, pox virus, melioidosis and ricin."

Get your head around testing an empty flour bag found in a dumpster for "pox virus." Are you not filled with confidence by our bioterror preparedness men? Now imagine the hilarity pursuant from the return of a false positive.

The original, unfortunately.