NATIONAL LAB INTO CRAP SCIENCE IN SERVICE TO MILITARY AND NATION: Alleged bomb-sniffing bees, on your dime. Wouldn't you much rather have a new wonder drug, though?
DD has been familiar with the coming wonders of bomb-sniffing bees for the last five years -- at least. Today the bomb-sniffing bee tale pollinated Reuters, which distributed it worldwide where it subsequently gave erections to multitudes of editors in the mainstream media more entranced by it than the same old daily horrifying news of total disaster from Iraq.
Instead of a link directly to Reuters, better to spare your sanity and depend on DD allies at El Reg.
Los Alamos scientists are the culprits here, insulting everyone's intelligence with claims that their bomb-sniffing bees will be a boon to police forces and the military in the war on terror. Yes, the bomb-sniffing bees will certainly be useful in Iraq, where the entire country is an ammo dump. Send them there, right now, so the bees and the soldiers stuck with trying to use them can have another reason to add to their collective nervous breakdown.
The bomb-sniffing bees stick out their proboscis at the scent of bombs, burble Los Alamos scientists. It's an unequivocal indicator they insist.
To which DD replies he has seen bees in the backyard stick their proboscises out at many things, but not explosives, because we don't have any. And then it envisions the comedy when local police forces buy into the phlogiston of bomb-sniffing bee-keeping only to find a number of things to be true: (1) They're not so good at bee-keeping, (2) the bomb-sniffing bees don't work so hot, so can't we go back to using dogs because you can tell them what to do and they wag their tails, and (3) what's a proboscis?
The bomb-sniffing bee technology, having been worked over plenty on cable TV shows -- you know, the ones dedicated to utter supremacy of US weaponry and military/police ingenuity on the History and Discovery channels -- is dead on arrival.
DD could be wrong but is willing to bet no one who isn't compelled to do so will sign on for the creation of bomb-sniffing bee detachments. The bomb-sniffing bee tech story does, however, uphold its part of the quaintly American security delusion that really great science is done by the military or national labs all the time and that if they're just left to do it without supervision, our enemies will be buried by the wondrous applications which must inevitably ensue.
"We are very excited at the success of our research as it could have far-reaching implications for both defense and homeland security," said a Los Alamos bomb-sniffing bee scientist, a member of the Stealthy Insect Sensor Project, to Reuters. It gives you quite the erection, huh, bub?
Related: Perhaps the bomb-sniffing bees could work in conjunction with this other great war-on-terror invention, the Pooting Machine.
DD has been familiar with the coming wonders of bomb-sniffing bees for the last five years -- at least. Today the bomb-sniffing bee tale pollinated Reuters, which distributed it worldwide where it subsequently gave erections to multitudes of editors in the mainstream media more entranced by it than the same old daily horrifying news of total disaster from Iraq.
Instead of a link directly to Reuters, better to spare your sanity and depend on DD allies at El Reg.
Los Alamos scientists are the culprits here, insulting everyone's intelligence with claims that their bomb-sniffing bees will be a boon to police forces and the military in the war on terror. Yes, the bomb-sniffing bees will certainly be useful in Iraq, where the entire country is an ammo dump. Send them there, right now, so the bees and the soldiers stuck with trying to use them can have another reason to add to their collective nervous breakdown.
The bomb-sniffing bees stick out their proboscis at the scent of bombs, burble Los Alamos scientists. It's an unequivocal indicator they insist.
To which DD replies he has seen bees in the backyard stick their proboscises out at many things, but not explosives, because we don't have any. And then it envisions the comedy when local police forces buy into the phlogiston of bomb-sniffing bee-keeping only to find a number of things to be true: (1) They're not so good at bee-keeping, (2) the bomb-sniffing bees don't work so hot, so can't we go back to using dogs because you can tell them what to do and they wag their tails, and (3) what's a proboscis?
The bomb-sniffing bee technology, having been worked over plenty on cable TV shows -- you know, the ones dedicated to utter supremacy of US weaponry and military/police ingenuity on the History and Discovery channels -- is dead on arrival.
DD could be wrong but is willing to bet no one who isn't compelled to do so will sign on for the creation of bomb-sniffing bee detachments. The bomb-sniffing bee tech story does, however, uphold its part of the quaintly American security delusion that really great science is done by the military or national labs all the time and that if they're just left to do it without supervision, our enemies will be buried by the wondrous applications which must inevitably ensue.
"We are very excited at the success of our research as it could have far-reaching implications for both defense and homeland security," said a Los Alamos bomb-sniffing bee scientist, a member of the Stealthy Insect Sensor Project, to Reuters. It gives you quite the erection, huh, bub?
Related: Perhaps the bomb-sniffing bees could work in conjunction with this other great war-on-terror invention, the Pooting Machine.
posted by George Smith at 12:47 PM
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