Thursday, May 11, 2006

Liquid Jesus were another not very good but here today gone tomorrow hard rock band. And generally speaking, I have a strong tolerance, even a pathology, for the most dire of barrel-scrapers. Perhaps I was under a cloud in June of '91 when their major label debut showed up at the Morning Call.

LIQUID JESUS: Pour in the Sky

When I was in college I won a radio contest. And what a cheapo deal it was: The prize was by the Mexican hard rock act called Carmen. Carmen played heavy metal set to a calypso beat in songs like "Fandingos in Space." It was truly useless so I hung the plastic over my dorm room lamp hoping that the heat would be just enough to warp the vinyl into a bowl and make a nice ashtray. But Carmen was a failure at that, too, because none of my friends smoked. The reason I mention all this is because "Pour in the Sky" is lousy, too, but for slightly different reasons. First, Liquid Jesus' idea of fitting an early-70's style guitarist, Todd Rigione, onto a band that plays loose-limbed spacey sludge ala Hard Stuff or Bang isn't new. And those bands were, by and large, obscure flops. Anyway, Riggione is an oldster who roadied for Mac Davis, so he could have had those records. But then there's the problem of Liquid Jesus making the listener muscle through 10-minutes of flatus called "Intro" and "Finding My Way" before "Where Have You Been" comes along. The latter is pretty swank. The vocalist starts foaming at the mouth and Rigione supplies about a half-minute of incinerating wah-wah near the end. Then there's more art that reminds me of SST bands in the mid-80's. In the end, it's no better than "Fandingos in Space" only I haven't figured out how to make CDs into ashtrays yet.

Also, Cycle Sluts from Hell on Epic:

Tough Sluts

The Sluts played Allentown about two years ago. Just prior they'd been yakking on Morton Downey about stupid things like rock censorship, and the PR machine went into high gear, portraying them like most American men secretly want their women to look like: leather and chrome-bolted strumpets. So the bar was packed with an army of flannel-shirted, slavering tough guys just waiting for an eyeful and maybe a little more. And then the Sluts came out and delivered what the disc delivers -- a broadside of thrash metal with four mean-looking wimmen jeering like magpies at majorly bummed locals who had, perhaps, expected a dirty version of The Go-Gos. Most of the bikers grumbled and recoiled, but one, the Schnecksville Creeper, approached the spotlight in a stagey attempt to grab a handful of one of them. Suddenly, a Slut signalled peremptorily and three roadies seized the Creeper -- tossing him onto the macadam of the parking lot. This disc's the same as that, a sonic rabbit punch to the nape of the neck punctuated with glints of dumb cunning like "Speed Queen" with the lyrics: Bay-bee, if you want to use my washing machine first you gotta buy the detergent!!! I doubt if it will sell.


Blogger conrad said...

Liquid Jesus was a very cool band with a great singer and as a collector of all good music I have gone out of my way to find Pour In the Sky so I can hear the profoundly uplifting song " finding my way" again. cycle sluts from hell were kinda laim though but liquid jesus ruled.

5:47 PM  

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