Thursday, May 11, 2006

Reruns

Many years ago I used to write for the Morning Call newspaper in Allentown, Pennsy. I was their number one guy, period. For a few years, as a staffer and as a free-lancer, I wrote more than anyone else on the features news staff. That wasn't such a hard thing to do because the staffers really lived the meaning of the word languid.

The November 2, 1991 record reviews page included ads for the Exploited and Heaven's Edge, a good hair metal band from Philly about to get knee-capped by the demise of their genre. Queenryche was touring with Warrior Soul in the opening slot and this is what I had to say about the latter's Sex, Drugs & the New Republic on DGC.

"If it's mystery to you why such a pre-eminently unsuccessful and obscure heavy metal band as Warrior Soul merits a second disc, let alone print space, then consider the poor hapless shmuck kids who'll have to suffer through the band's performance while Queensryche drags 'em around on tour. Further, maybe you should know that the only person this bad example of fake post-intellectual crap is still afloat is because Metallica's management and big-deal record exec Tom Zutaut think that, maybe, SOME DAY, it'll pitch to Middle American youth the way it does to gender-bending, drug cult 'stop tyranny now' theoreticians of lower Manhattan. Nothing personal, but I got news for them. Not in any lifetime."

Here's another review from October of the same year, this time on another DGC gobbler, White Trash. It was their debut, I think.

"I couldn't stand this overlong disc of ants-in-its-pants disco metal burnished with nutso horns not used for like hard-rock purposes since the glory days of Chase and Lighthouse. What glory days you ask? My point, exactly."

Not bad money for a paragraph.

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