Friday, July 13, 2007

DAILY MUSHROOM CLOUD: One week after Harvard bore, the bore from the American Enterprise Institute

There can never be enough warnings about terrible nuclear attacks.

"The recent car-bomb threats in Britain were stark reminders that terrorists continue to probe for ways to attack us -- and not every attempt will fail or be repelled," writes Norman Ornstein in today's Washington Post.

With it, Ornstein proudly joins the ranks of the small army of crushingly repetitive bores who exist to pump newspapers opinion pages full of warnings about terrible things for which only they have solutions.

While the clownish car-bombers were only successful in setting one of themselves lethally on fire and placing one weapon-of-choice in a no-parking zone where it was promptly towed away, this tedious man employs the tried and true methods of a half dozen other pundits. Given a convenient news item, use it as a springboard for one of your terror disaster bete noires.

"Consider the worst-case scenario: a suitcase nuclear attack at a presidential inauguration, with the outgoing and incoming president and vice president, most of Congress, and the Supreme Court present; the outgoing Cabinet scheduled to leave office; and no incoming Cabinet members yet confirmed," Ornstein writes.

"There would be chaos," Ornstein continues, deadening and obvious, with "no clear president to take over, probably many Al Haig wannabes announcing that they were in charge, no quorum to reconstitute Congress, no court to sort out the conflicting claims."

However, Norman has an answer. All Daily Mushroom Clouders do. Last week, the answer was Graham Allison's "Three No's."

This week: "In the aftermath of Sept. 11, I wrote a series of pieces pointing out the vacuum in governance that could be created by another attack. I helped create a Continuity of Government Commission ... "

Good boy, Norman. Don't break your arm patting youself on the back.

Word to the Washington Post editorial page. We've upped our standards. Up yours.

Norman J. Ornstein is a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute. In 2007, he was named "America's hottest pundit" by Clissandra Tyler-Chenoweth, fashion and style editor at Washington Lobbyist and Staff Worker magazine.

America's Hottest Pundit at the WaPo.

Last week: Mushroom Clouder wins Fonebone Award.

Daily Mushroom Cloud archive, Pt. 1.

Daily Mushroom Cloud archive, Pt. 2.


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