Thursday, October 30, 2008

HEY HEEVAHAVA! "He's uppity" -- for the 10,000th time

Bartender! A double-shot and more beer! What'sh it take to get served here?!

The citizens of Pennsyltucky remain endlessly fascinating to those who didn't grow up there.

In a piece which ran in The Guardian, a big UK newspaper, an Obama canvasser explains the attitudes of middle-aged white people in Erie. One gets the usual script that, logically, this demographic should be running away from John McCain and the GOP with its hair on fire. And that's certainly the truth.

A few of the usual heevahavas are trotted out. Obama -- sounds like Osama -- mutters one. Another thinks Barack Obama too eloquent. He's "uppity" -- an unimaginative script stupidly trying to make the point that speaking well is a bad thing. In this man's crabbed world, being smart is a handicap.

The writer describes this as a type of soft racism, a bigotry which can be erased by knocking on doors until those answering dimly associate Barack Obama with a white face.

There may be something to it. However, in DD's experience, "uppity" goes way back. It was constantly used in Pine Grove, Schuylkill County, to put down people who achieved intellectually -- or did well in something as small as high school. It was, more precisely, an expression of mean envy, one in which the jealous took a cheap shot at someone who was talented and a hard worker.

When DD sees it at this late juncture, it's the outburst of the heevahava -- the opinion of a dolt -- represented as a thing to be taken way too seriously.

Dolt is not a synonym for 'average person.' The dolt is, more often, just a dolt, as likely to be found face down and mumbling in a bar on election day as at the voting booth. If Barack Obama's campaign had seriously believed these potential voters were an insurmountable obstacle in Pennsylvania, polls wouldn't have him up now by double digits.

Screw you, heevahava, and have one for me when you're attacking that case on election day.

See here.

Many have noted it's almost impossible to satirize the GOP. Making up a story about McCain telling his audience the Great Cthulhu was going to be made tax collector in an Obama administration in order to collect treasure and and eat children isn't that far from some of the rant spilling out of the far right.

Take old Tetany and Co. at the Lehigh Valley Conservative. As it gets closer to the election, the more unfastened it is.

DD can't make up stuff better than this:

"As with anyone who would be king, Obama will take our money and our property in ever-larger amounts. Our children will be saddled with debt and beholden to a bloated government that will enslave the very people it promised to help. We will be at the mercy of our enemies. And no matter how bleak or desperate our own lives becomes, the leaders in Obama’s government will always thrive; such people always do."

"... since today is Sunday, I will take the liberty of making an observation with a more Biblical bent," the reader is told. And then one gets the story of Samuel and a wayward people who rejected God for a king.

Of course, the king is the other guy, one to be described with idiot savant metaphors taken from scripture, artlessly cobbled together to ram home the point that you've become a tool of evil. It's gold-plated intelligence-insulting stuff.

Since shortly after 9/11, DD has spent some time reading various jihadi terror texts, electronic documents the purpose of which is to describe the fashioning of a variety of weapons from materials found at home.

Rants calling Americans kuffars -- unbelievers, those who are to be condemned by god -- invariably accompany them. The foaming from John McCain's GOP is just like that stuff, only it doesn't use the word kuffar. Instead, the US kuffar is defined by his party and where he or she lives and exhortations to "pro" and/or "patriotic" America.

It's excrement, a manure to gag on which the Republican party has -- in the alleged name of country -- attempted to stuff down the throats of Americans.

If you're not with them, you're kuffar. You're damned, guilty of everything bad -- socialism, Marxism, disbelief in god, a collaborator with mortal enemies, a wolf in sheep's clothing. It is a rancid and sick ideology, one now inextricably entwined with the evangelical Christian belief that one can pick and choose who to condemn using your own special deli platter of faith, as long as that interpretation puts you up in Heaven, and those you do not care for down in Hell.

Get thee behind me Satan -- it tells ya. And if you don't believe in the Republican way, you're ...

And the devil is always capable of anything, which is why one reads, written dead serious, ridiculous and thoroughly rotten tripe like this:

"We have the makings of a dictator in Obama, since the MSM, the courts and the Democrat party will give Obama all the power he wants. The Republicans will be powerless! What are our options in a situation like this? A military coup?"

There's no civility, no room for belief that we face common problems to which we all would dearly love to find good solutions. There is just the enemy. And as it looks more and more like the enemy will triumph, the warnings get more dire, apocalyptic and shot through with irrational conspiracy theories.

If Barack Obama, for instance, has raised a lot of money, it is because it has been done through criminal enterprise.

"Just heard on the Fox news channel that most of Obama’s over 600 million in contributions came in from 'quicky' credit cards," rants old Tetany.

"These are credit cards that one can buy like a gift card at walmart. There is no name on the card, just a number that can be used by anyone and can also come from anywhere in the world. We know that foreign contributions are illegal, but using these cards, these kind of contributions are next to impossible to track. With over 600 million coming in for Obama, something has to be wrong!"

It never occurs to the writer that Fox might be just making it all up. DD has contributed to the Obama campaign through e-mail push-button debit card transaction. And there's nothing suspicious about it, the name's on the bank card. But if the Democratic Party has realized that it can raise money bombs through distributed contribution from ordinary citizens, who are all identified, on the Internet -- and the cash raised has crushed the Republican Party's own fund-raising by comparison, then there must be something wrong with it.

In the mind of the GOP loyalist this is not evidence of the fund-raising power of average Americans, but proof of something illegal, perhaps crime or foreign meddling.

"The fact that Obama received over 600 million should make all of us, democrat and republican, wonder where this huge amount of money came from," continues the writer, reaching into his pocket for a couple ball-bearings, which he begins to click together -- tink-tink, clickety-chink. That money might be from Chinese military intelligence he reveals!

Now, DD had an excellent dessert tonight, ice cream and frozen strawberries.

And an hour ago, I sent for another portion but got only the ice cream. There weren't any more strawberries. And pilfering is a serious offense in wartime.

I don't believe that you godless un-American socialist Democrat-Marxists and terrorists honestly consumed a gallon of strawberries without stealing some. So I've filled the empty strawberry canister with sand so that we can have a demonstration.

How many portions of ice cream and strawberries did you have?


I'm doling out a scoop of sand for each portion.

This tureen I'm scooping from holds as much sand as we had strawberries tonight.

How much sand is left? A quart, maybe? But the strawberries were all gone when I asked for them.

Have any of you an explanation for the quart of missing strawberries? Someone else finished them for us!

We will all investigate to find out who's responsible for this crime!

Wait! Wait! Got carried away there. We now return to our regular transmission.

"Public schools are encouraging children to vote for Obama, newspaper cartoonists drawing dispicable [sic] images of Sarah Palin and far right wing websites spewing vile hate speech 24/7," one continues to read, noting a Freudian slip.

Children, being encouraged to vote for Obama! That's illegal! And it has started to rain frogs, too.

While many participate in the GOP's encapsulated group delusion -- that they're the only true Americans as they redraw election maps and cherry-pick the polls for anomalies which deliver unto them victory, not everyone can be stone cold crazy.

And that explains why Obama will win Pennsylvania on November 4. The challenge was to not only make a good case, but to also get out voters capable of naturally offsetting any Republican advantage in the middle parts of the state.

Two accounts of the McCain rally in Pottsville, written by a Schuylkill County Republican are here and here.

They're good, refreshing, after the usual doses of stock enmity and conspiracy cant.

But in Pottsville, McCain preached to his choir.

The day before his arrival, the local newspaper wrote that registered Republicans enjoyed an advantage of 4,000 over registered Democrats in county, if it was actually true -- much narrower than I recall in the the late Eighties.

It's my hunch that while McCain will win in the county, he'll do so by a narrower margin than predicted and that this will be reflected throughout the normally more conservative mid-section of the state. Palin's stop in Hershey in Dauphin county was nationally publicized and while she did her usual thing, this time praising patriotic Americans, as opposed to pro-America Americans (it's still code for the other -- the kuffar), that region is far from a done deal. Dauphin County was one of only a couple in the hinterland which went for Obama in his primary loss to Hillary Clinton.

The Morning Call newspaper, always very careful with its editorials so as not to antagonize even a small portion of its readers, ran an editorial by a local prof stating McCain's "favorability among Pennsylvanians is sagging".

If such a thing had run in a think piece for the LA Times, it would mean almost nothing.

That it was published in the Call indicates the belief at all levels that McCain is almost certainly doomed in Pennsylvania. And one might conclude that the margins of victory in those parts of the state where he can win -- the area between Philly and Pittsburgh -- won't be particularly great, and in some cases, may flip from traditionally Republican in presidential elections, to Democrat.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

GREAT CTHULHU TO BE MADE CHIEF OF IRS: If Obama wins, McCain warns in Pennsy, monster will be his enforcer

Cthulhu will be made Barack Obama's chief redistributor of wealth, John McCain warned a crowd of about 4,500 at Martz Hall in Pottsville, yesterday. (File photo of The Great Cthulhu courtesy of Getty Images.)

Campaigning in Pennsylvania today, a state many think John McCain must win if he is to have any chance of becoming the next president, the GOP candidate emphasized a relatively new theme. The Great Cthulhu, a hulking monster which ruled the earth about the time the moon was created, will be put in charge of the Internal Revenue Service if Barack Obama becomes president of the United States.

"Millions of years ago, when the stars were right, the great Cthulhu ruled from his black house in R'lyeh," McCain told an audience of about 4,500 in Pottsville. "When the stars changed, R'lyeh sank beneath the waves and Cthulhu was effectively imprisoned, cast into a deep sleep."

"But, my friends, now once again the stars may almost be right. If Barack Obama is elected the next president of the United States, his socialist vision will summon the monster. And Cthulhu will rise from his sleep to be put in charge of the Internal Revenue Service, where he will be the enforcer of Obama's plan to take from the rich and give to the lazy. And when Cthulhu has finally taken all the money and turned all rich people into impotent zombies with fish flaps where their heads used to be, he will come for your cash, too. In the guise of expanding the earned income tax credit, Cthulhu will rob you of everything -- your business, your success, your house and -- finally -- your children. Because all that work will have made him hungry."

The crowd at Martz was briefly struck silent by this horrific vision.

Then a man yelled, "He's a socialist, too!" And Martz Hall erupted in wild cheers; the momentary eldritch fog of doom was dispelled. (See here.

Democrats to be rewarded by the Great Cthulhu, see here.

In preparation for the coming of the Great Cthulhu, the Democratic party and its financiers had planned and executed the financial collapse.

This, according to old Tetany, the ever vigilant blogger at the Lehigh Valley Conservative.

"What will you do when there is not enough rich private citizens, small businesses or corporations as in Cuba or other Socialist countries, to satisfy the greed of [the Great Cthulhu]?" it asks, in another post here.

But where is the money coming from before the great Old One rises? The biggest credit card fraud operation in history, that's where.

Monday, October 27, 2008


Fox News analyst Karl Rove put a remarkable pie chart together this weekend. It showed a key voting demographic moving strongly into the McCain camp a mere week before the election.

"Pro-American Morlocks have never been comfortable with Barack Obama's vision of socialist Marxist government," said Rove. On Fox News, he held up a chart showing 89 percent of registered Morlocks in red for McCain with eight percent undecided and three percent "unaccounted for."

"Most pollsters are missing this and it is why McCain can win on November 4," added Rove.

"Moe the Morlock is the hard bedrock upon which mainstream America stands. These average guys regard anti-Americans as cattle and eat them for dinner. Morlocks see Barack Obama as someone who would take away that right."

John Fund, author of the recent book, "Revolt! How to mount an insurgency after Barack Obama steals the election and puts the country under Stalinist rule," agreed.

"Obama will never win in America's heartland because he just won't support Moe the Morlock's need to consume people who aren't pro-America. And, of course, he intends to increase entitlements for them, taking it right from Moe's pocket."

Although John McCain is about to be beaten in Pennsyltucky, this week he is storming the state. Today McCain will touch down in DD's old birthplace, Pottsville, the heart of Schuylkill County. A McCain rally will be held in Martz Hall, Pottsville High School's dingy old athletic gymnasium.

I have a good load of rock salt saved up for you this Halloween, young fella!

In the coming week, the McCain/Palin campaign will visit Shippensburg State Teachers College -- home of Keystone Boys State, as well as Quakertown, location of the beloved-by-white-trash Q-Mart.

Sadly, the Scranton Times, newspaper of that famous city where pro-Americans and Catholics live, has gone mad and anti-American, endorsing Obama.

Obama like Castro, real America no longer exists

Without the Morning Call newspaper, DD would have never found the wonderful world of Lehigh Valley blogging.

For instance, only in the LV blogosphere can one learn that "[over] 215 million Americans use the internet on a regular basis - that's more than 2/3 of the Country. Further, 163 million Americans have made purchases on the internet." (See here.)

One can read fond descriptions of trips to the great hot dog eatery, Yocco's, and find recipes for pumpkin muffins. Now DD asks you, how timely is that!?

However, they all pale in comparison to that blog of blogs, The Lehigh Valley Conservative.

Going deep into the mind and heart of Joe the Morlock pro-America Americans, it gently mixes scripture, decency and a total absence of earthy common sense in a daily balm for our broken souls.

Hosted by a wise old trouser, it has spent the last week dispensing nothing less than the pure milk of human kindness.

"[We] are getting close to a mock election, not much different than Castro’s Cuba," it read this weekend. "The tactics he used to convert Cuba to a Communist country seem to be the same tactics the Democrats are using now!"

The real America no longer exists, thanks to the Democratic Party, states the blog matter-of-factly. "Dusk is coming and someone better turn on the lights."

And DD, as well as many readers, probably did not know that anti-Semites were in the tank for Barack Obama.

Only the Lehigh Valley Conservative could point this out.

"[Someone] with a name like Barack Hussein Obama, will favor Muslims over Jews," the LVC informed recently. "Ahmajinidad [sic] also knows that Obama had ties with some Muslims that financed his Harvard education and even helped him buy a house. Most Americans would know this if the MSM would be honest and truthful in their reporting."

"We should note that the Muslim fanatics hate Christians but love Obama," the LVC kindly informs in another post on foreign policy.

"Jew haters love Obama also."

Keep in mind, DD would have missed all of it had it not been on The Morning Call newspaper's short list of recommended blogs.

"Is there another blog that you think deserves to be here?" the newspaper brightly asks in a suggestion form.

Well -- you can't suggest The Lehigh Valley Conservative. It's already there!

But you can show your appreciation by e-mailing the newspaper's editors, Ardith Hilliard and Michael Hirsch. You can contact them at ardith dot hilliard at mcall dot com and michael dot hirsch at mcall dot com.

DD also knows that not all of you have time to compose a thoughtful letter. So I've furnished one for you! Feel free to cut and paste.


Hello editors!

I am writing to thank you for including a link to the Lehigh Valley Conservative on your webpage recommending the local blogosphere.

Without it, I would never have known jew haters love Barack Hussein Obama and that the real America no longer exists thank to the Democratic political party.

The mainstream media doesn't have enough time or staff anymore to cover any of these important stories and you've wisely recommended one blog which can pick up the slack.

Along with scrumptious-looking recipes for pumpkin muffins and a tour of the great hot dog restaurant, Yocco's, it's good to know that you've put the Lehigh Valley's best foot forward when it comes to politics and opinion. I can think of nothing more soothing to our divided society than being able to read that one of our presidential candidates has a fake birth certificate and is loved by jew haters.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

INSANE FOR McCAIN: Obama is an illegal alien, wants to abolish bill of rights, proven by science

DD's latest poll shows McCain has an insurmountable lead over Barack Obama in a key voting demographic of white men.

"Obama has a problem in pro-America parts of the country," Fox News Analyst Karl Rove said yesterday. "He has never been able to win over extremists, the regular Joes who will brandish their shotguns and shoot little kids with rock salt loads this Halloween."

John Fund, author of the new book, "He's Stealing the Election: How Barack Obama will use 50 million phony voters on election day and what you can do to stop it," echoed Rove's analysis.

"It's not just the shotgun men who don't support McCain, it's much broader than that," said Fund. "It's all the Americans who've been courageously fighting against fluoride in drinking water, too. Obama is an elitist who simply doesn't 'get' the values of these citizens."

In related news, a newspaper letter writer named Bob in Marin County, CA, writes "No more Bill of Rights?"

"Obama has voiced favoritism to international terrorists, favoritism to Palestine over that of Israel, his disapproval of our military, wants to waive the white flag and run, even though it is a fact that we are winning the war, but what is even more frightening is his views of American's rights under the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

"The Obama campaign is actively trying to silence the voice of all gun owners."

Three thousand miles away in the Lehigh Valley, a letter writer named Barbara echoes this concern, shedding light on the dim outline of the conspiracy.

"I was concerned to hear that the Obama campaign has been threatening Pennsylvania TV and radio stations with legal action unless they cease airing ads sponsored by the NRA," the woman reveals.

"Now it is becoming more alarming. It has been reported that Gov. Matt Blunt says the same thing is happening in Missouri, but with the added assistance of elected officials, prosecutors and law enforcement.

"If Sen. Obama feels he can stifle free speech in political ads, what will he command if he gains the power of the presidency?"

Fighting hard to see that this never happens is a lone Pennsyltucky man named Phil.

"Barack Obama and the Democratic National Committee are asking a federal judge to dismiss a lawsuit filed by a Montgomery County attorney seeking to oust Obama from the November ballot," reports the Morning Call newspaper.

"Berg, who in 2004 filed an unsuccessful federal lawsuit accusing the Bush administration of involvement in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, sued Obama in August, claiming he was born in Kenya."

"In his response to Obama's motion, [the plaintiff] says he has suffered a loss of confidence in the party's nominating process 'because of the massive cheating and skewering of rules' to make Obama the nominee," continues the newspaper equably.

"[The plaintiff, Philip Berg], who supported Hillary Clinton, also says he has been damaged financially by, among other things, having to pay taxes that have gone to Secret Service protection for Obama.

"In his lawsuit, Berg says Obama was born in Kenya. Normally, his mother's U.S. citizenship would extend to him, but it doesn't in this case because the law at the time obligated her to spend at least five years after age 14 in the United States. She had him at age 18.

"Even if Obama had been born in Hawaii as a U.S. citizen, the suit says, he later lost his citizenship when he moved with his mother to Indonesia and she remarried."

And Bethlehem's best blog, the Lehigh Valley Conservative, is also on the case, again warning that the kuffars in the mainstream media simply will not cover this story.

One of old Tetany's disciples, The Outsider, informs Barack Obama has had his birth certificate faked and is an illegal alien. "I think Berg is on to something because Obama has been lying a lot about some things lately," it continues.

"When the MSM doesn’t want to talk about an issue related to Obama (and they have been awful quiet about certain issues like Ayres [sic], ACORN, foreign campaign contributions, who financed his home and Harvard education), you know there is something up!"

McCain supporter shakes fist and curses Obama, frightens child

"As a single mom who recently had a man behind me at a stop light ranting, cursing and shaking his fist while my small daughter was in the car with me, I am just ashamed of the things coming from Republicans in recent weeks ..." a letter writer informs the Morning Call.

"I should not have to endure strangers shaking their fists at me because of an Obama bumper sticker, but I guess I can. I pray that we all vote on issues near and dear to us, and not over misplaced anger!" (See here.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

DELIVER UNTO US THE UN-AMERICAN! And anti-American, too...

"Why must the kuffar Democrat do anything right in God’s law if in fact he doesn’t fear Him?"

On Sunday, the New York Times magazine returned to the issue that has apparently plagued journalist Matt Bai for some time: How can Barack Obama and the Democratic party win the salt-of-the-earth vote of the uneducated white man?

DD's sick of this false dilemma which tells us that the demographic is the core of something vitally important, one unfairly looked down upon by us wine-sipping elitists in nifty and upscale places like Pasadena. Throughout the political cycle the meme has almost always been delivered by journalists who are only visitors to Redneckburg, USA. Alternatively, they've been away from the place so long they no longer remember (or choose not to recall) how grinding it was to have matured there and been regarded as educated and, therefore, phony.

The magazine article goes on for pages, stacking up the image of the conceited Democrat against the alleged average Joe. It almost seems reasonable until one grows nauseous from the hand wringing and sensitivity toward what's called the need of the put-upon lower middle-class white guy. Around the same time, common sense arrives to nag you the demographic isn't quite that well-defined.

For instance, although wine is sipped in Pasadena, your host does not personally do so. I prefer Pabst, the same kind of cheap beer I used to drink in Schuylkill County and the Lehigh Valley, the redneck environs of Pennsyltucky Obama has allegedly so alienated.

Months ago this blog reasoned, with experience of having lived there, that Obama could never persuade such a demographic. However, it doesn't constitute the entire electorate. And that one key to victory in the general election would be to not overestimate its importance and instead focus on getting out more people who were not sold on the predatory and fraudulent advertising operation which is the Republican party.

Visiting past-their-prime bars and miscellaneous gone-to-seed neighborhoods in Ohio and Pennsyltucky for photo-ops while clinking beer glasses or otherwise engaging with the white manly men low proles doesn't cut it. (Although getting over a hundred thousand out in St. Louis does.)

So registering newer voters and energizing what one already has on the table might looks like it's working.

Near the end of the article an idea dawns on Bai, a thing some figured out years ago.

"Obama's strategists accept that there will be some number of voters -- particularly white men -- who will reject Obama because he is black," it goes. "But they are betting, first, that most of these voters wouldn't have voted for a Democrat in any event and second, that the groundswell of black support ... will produce enough new African-American votes to offset them."

And, finally, delivered by Obama, a knowing description of the way he's seen by this so-called most precious of demographics and why nothing moves the caricature.

"If I were watching Fox News, I wouldn't vote for me," Obama told Bai. "Because the way I'm portrayed 24/7 is as a freak. I am the latte-sipping, New York Times reading, Volvo-driving, no-gun owning, effete, politically correct arrogant liberal. Who wants somebody like that?"

"I guess the point I'm making ... is that there is an entire industry now, an entire apparatus, designed to perpetuate this cultural schism, and it's powerful."

Not a day goes by without the Republican party, John McCain, Sarah Palin or some other contemptible person you've never heard of until she popped off on how she really feels, running with at least five atrocious claims which only broken minds could find compelling: (1) about half the country must be un-American; (2) that Democrats support a man who is a Manchurian candidate, one who pals around with terrorists; (3) to be "eloquent," very bright and accomplished -- is very bad; (4) the Democrat is either godless, or worse, a believer in the wrong god; and (5) the foe is for the imposition of a gray socialist state.

Clutch along with old Tetany

It's time for today's edition of the Lehigh Valley's funniest blog, as approved by the Morning Call newspaper, the Lehigh Valley Conservative.

Delivering the pure and true anger of the faithful, Tetany bellows from his pulpit:

"And further more if he [the Democrat] does not believe that the father will bring wrath on him for his evil doings ... Why would he obey/follow the teachings of His son Jesus Christ? So we have evil hands joining evil hands across this land like we have not seen in this country’s history."

Our writer also wonders whether evil is creeping into the American way here.

And Colin Powell -- traitorist!

If you, like DD, have noticed a slight tremor in the fulminating, it may be because polls in Pennsylvania show Obama pulling away from McCain.

Now, DD knows he's damned. The odor of brimstone is thick here. But what of others?

So for the sake of balance, also from the Lehigh Valley, a blogger irked at possibly being thought of as un-American.

It puts the fellow in good company with Nobel laureate Paul Krugman, who commented, "[Yep] -- we’re all traitors here in central New Jersey."


The Lehigh Valley Crank

The butthurt codgers of Pennsyltucky

Democrat class war

Hey Heevahava! Tell us Scranton's opinion of Barack Obama!

Class and cultural war during the Democratic primary.

Pigeon shooters for McCain

Republicrat barflies for Clinton

Monday, October 20, 2008

OLD TETANY SEES END IS NEAR: Socialism, secularism, treason, anathemas to God


The most prescient blog in the state of Pennsyltucky, featured by the one and only Morning Call newspaper, is located in the Lehigh Valley here.

"We have thrown the God of the Bible out and accepted humanism, atheism, secularism, and any faith but in Jesus Christ," thundered Old Tetany today, ascending the mount in the search for wisdom. "We have become a divide [sic] nation that may not be mended by God."

The Democrat Party is taking us down an evil path. We cannot help but think this is so because, intrinsically, it is the physical and psychic manifestation of evil itself.

Worse than Nixon! Kuffar, repent and heed the advice of Tetany or be damned!

ACORN, Obama campaign behind rash of sign stealing

"I recently had my McCain-Palin sign stolen from my front lawn and replaced with an Obama-Biden sign," writes one American citizen here.

"So this is how Mr. Nobama must drum up support, by having his liberal cronies trespass and steal in the middle of the night? Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, if you're going to have cronies steal my treasure, don't leave behind your trash!"

If you're as outraged by this latest Obamanation as DD, show your support by taking your child's skateboard and putting it at the top of the stairs. I'll be able to measure your fervor in about a week by monitoring emergency room check-ins recorded in daily newspapers nationwide.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

BLAME IT ALL ON DICK: Stone's 'W', Powell spurns Old Mutton for Obama, other stuff

Old Mutton must prevail! Just say no to socialism!

DD saw 'W' in Pasadena on Friday. Fear not, GWB fans -- all three of you. With Josh Brolin in the lead, our most detested president comes off as an avuncular dimwit misled by minders and his own idiot belief that he's on a mission from God. (At one point in the movie, Brolin as Bush sounds like he's riffing from the first Blues Brothers movie, which is probably intentional.)

Partial spoiler alert

While DD still wouldn't want to share an O'Douls with the man, Brolin makes GWB appear a great deal less despicable than he's seemed during the last eight years. Instead, the archvillain is Dick Cheney, played with glabrous over-the-top glee by Richard Dreyfuss. And poor Condi Rice! If there's an Oscar for Most Simpering, in good conscience, Thandie Newton is your only choice. As for Karl Rove, DD saw him onscreen as the corn-fed evangelical Christian version of Truman Capote reborn as a political advisor.

Some of the best one-liners are reserved for Jeffrey Wright as Colin Powell, written as a man with principles and regrets who went along with the conjured wisdom in the room, anyway. In a memorable scene from a White House meeting just prior to invasion, W has his advisors run through the countries making up the Coalition of the Bribed and the Suckers. Mongolia is contributing ninety soldiers, Powell says dryly, adding "and they're damn fine wrestlers, too." Morocco, says Rice, is furnishing trained monkeys for the setting off of minefields.

DD recommends W. It's not a satire or an end-to-end laff riot. In fact, its tenor is inoffensive. Unless you're one of those hyperventilating about the imminent transformation of the United States into a socialist state administered by an implacable bureaucracy of Ellsworth Tooheys whose only aim is to deprive you of your small business.

"A great soldier, a great statesman and a great American has endorsed our campaign to change America," Barack Obama said of Colin Powell today. "He knows, as we do, that this is a moment where we all need to come together as one nation — young and old, rich and poor, black and white, Republican and Democrat."

If you drop the "great soldier, great statesman" and change "great American" to "famous American," it's about all right.

More on point was Powell saying Old Mutton's campaign is uncool and his running mate unfit. In case you've missed all that because you were stuck in the bathroom or something.

And you surely won't want to miss the recent edition of the Lehigh Valley's only sheer comedy blog, here.

In the most up-to-date posting, one disturbed local trouser delivers a skit warning that if Obama is elected, Israel will be wiped out. And we'll stand by "like the gutless French in WWII ... reaping the benefits of a free America and our capitalist system, all the while sliming the people that are making sacrifices and dying for their rights and freedoms."

Saturday, October 18, 2008

HONK IF YOU HATE SOCIALISM: Register the commernists, not guns

If the candidate from the Democrat Party is elected, I'm moving to a cabin in Canada the Baja peninsula Belize Surinam Uruguay Tierra del Fuego North Dakota. After a life of back-breaking toil, I won't abide government oppression and taking from me and giving to the lazy. No one except Jesus knows the struggles I've endured. I'll have death before paying a penny of health care for those who doesn't deserve it.

In four years, this country is going to be like Canada Britain Holland Sweden Iceland Russia Venezuela North Korea.

So this country wants Socialism, eh?

Friday, October 17, 2008

THE SOCIALIST OVERLORD IS PLOTTING OUR DOWNFALL: Family Security Matters, Joe the Plumber, on the ramparts

Of minor surprise this morning was news that Joe The Plumber Wurzelbacher had given a lengthy interview to Family Security Matters, a website which has occasionally shown up in DD news filters on terrorism. FSM is a smallish web portal purportedly devoted to informing the public on matters of terrorism and security. In DD's experience, it has always been reliably ignorant and weirdly paranoid. And it has published material on terrorism with distortions and errors so laughable they're virtually beyond comment.

For example, from its archives -- America's Bioterrorism Nightmare in which the author balefully informs readers: "[Someone named Bellamy-Dorsey] anticipates a variation of smallpox (cryptosporidium) as the biological agent Syria would use probably by infecting water supplies." It was believed, FSM informed, that Syrians had tested their biological weapon in Darfur.

As a matter of basic microbiology, smallpox -and cryptosporidium are not related. Not even close.

But you don't want to be sandbagged by arcane science and Balsamic Islamic bioterrorists who are said to be able to make botulinum toxin from rotten lunchmeat stuffed in a can. I know that now.

More apropos is its coverage at the intersection of politics and national security. And here is where FSM really excels, focusing only on the facts. Democrats are the biggest threat to the nation's future.

"Make no mistake, 'my friends,' the ideology of the Progressive-Left is rooted in Socialism and right now their candidate, Barack Obama, is slightly ahead in the polls," it writes today.

"Our nation stands just inside the beginning of a Second Civil War, one taking place on the ideological battlefield. Should we lose this election Progressive-Left Socialists will control the Executive Branch and the Legislative Branch of our government. Our nation, our Constitution and especially our Capitalist system will be damaged, very possibly beyond repair."

"While many Americans see the huge move of the Federal government into the private banking business another sharp turn towards socialism, are there underlying forces at work – a shadowy group of cyber terrorists – poised behind cloaked computers ready to pull the last straw out from under an economy weakened by corruption and fraud," the service delivers in another recent article entitled "Are Cyber-Terrorists Pulling the Last Straw Out of the World's Economy?"

This perceptive piece notes that many are set to "win big" from "American financial collapse" including "The Democrat Party" which is "desperate to elect to the country’s highest office an inexperienced, untested junior senator with little or no record" and the Chinese, who are presumably furnishing the cyber-terrorists.

However, if the danger of the socialist and cyber-terrorist working together is not quite enough to make you totally ill at ease, in another series, FSM spells out the rising menace of Islamic doctors infiltrating western medical facilities. It is said: "Hospitals are dangerous places without the aid of malefactors. But for those with intent to do harm – on an individual basis or system wide destruction – there is plenty of opportunity especially for well organized, well funded, determined adversaries."

So Family Security Matters seems a natural place for Joe The Plumber Wurzelbacher, especially when he was still only famous for buttonholing Barach Obama in Toledo and being interviewed by Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, right? He's a man interested in what's best for all our futures and that's a matter of home and security.

And our future must not include socialism.

As Wurzelbacher saw it, and told FSM, "You start giving people stuff -- and they start expecting it -- that scares me. A lot of people expect it now ... And if government’s there for them, they’re gonna keep on trying to manipulate it to get more out of it. You got people that come along and say, 'Hey, I wanna help you people,' I mean, they’re all ears! They’re like, 'Hey, you can help me more, I don’t have to work as hard, I don’t have to do as much, and you’re gonna give me this? Man, that’s great, you’re a good guy.'"

"So yeah, it goes down the socialist ... "

"I mean, just to sound a little silly here, but you need rich people," Joe the Plumber said, delivering salt-of-the-earth wisdom. "I mean, who are you going to work for?"

Wurzelbacher tells FSM he knows what it's like to suffer and the doesn't want to see mediocrity for the country. See here.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

DAMNED BY FAINT PRAISE: How nice! Only one person shouted "Kill him!" in Scranton

"At least one male supporter shouted 'kill him' about presidential candidate Barack Obama during a Republican rally Tuesday in Scranton," reported the local newspaper here.

"The remark was heard above the general 'boos' of the crowd when Republican congressional candidate Chris Hackett mentioned Mr. Obama while warming up the crowd for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin," it continued.

"Such violent sentiments at other McCain-Palin rallies had campaign officials worried about potentially turning off moderate undecided voters. The majority of attendees, while passionately anti-Obama, were less vehement."

"Mrs. Palin also called up the region’s coal-producing past by jabbing at another Scranton native, Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden, for once being critical of clean-coal technology as an alternative energy source," reported another piece in the newspaper.

The coal industry, what's left of it, is exhausted in Pennsyltucky's hinterland. DD discussed clean coal in January of this year at el Reg here.

A millionaire local to Schuylkill County, southwest of Scranton, has been trying to bring a clean coal pilot plant on-line for years.

The project has stalled, probably because of irregularities in cost assessments and retractions made by the Bush administration's Dept. of Energy environmental impact statements. In other words, the plant -- as planned -- can't deliver what was originally promised. (For more, including specifics on how it relates to the PA hinterlands, see here and here.)

Without following the linkage, the short version is that Barack Obama has generally supported clean coal. The Democratic position is virtually the same as the GOP's.

In yesterday's Los Angeles Times, the editorial board condemned John McCain in one of a series of opinions entitled "Position Pieces for the Next President."

"McCain then unleashed Palin to tear down Obama, and she responded by suggesting that Palin liked to 'pal around' with terrorists," it read. "Palin's boast that 'the heels are on, the gloves are off' is just too embarrassing to warrant response.

""McCain since has tried to cool off his supporters, but he lit this fire -- he and no one else is responsible for those who shriek at Palin's rallies, who proclaim that Obama is an Arab and who wish him harm. This campaign is more crass and virulent because McCain made it so."

"On the question of who best can reunite us, however, we cannot put our faith in a man who has done so much to drive us apart," it concluded.

This, in contrast to the Allentown Morning Call, which continues to devote its letter pages to stupid cranks insipidly arguing that the use of Obama's middle name at GOP rallies isn't incitement, but just the way things have always been.

Considering the source, it's difficult to be too hard on the clowns running the newspaper. While the Call is a small part of Tribune Co., which is the parent of the LA Times, a third of its staff was recently fired in a chain-wide downsizing. And it's not in a position where it can afford to lose any subscribers by formally reproaching Lehigh Valley GOP nutcases.

Today's letters include one on narrow minds. The Sidewalk to Nowhere video rates a mention.

The Call's featured letter writer insists Obama is too smooth. Then it runs through the standard laundry list of GOP talking-point character assassinations.

The what's-wrong-with-using-his-middle-name sham, here and here. The writer of the second thinks he's being clever. It's transparently so but the Call editors let him get away with the funny business for the sake of a good laugh, anyway.

Here's another one with an amusing twist. "Bigotry has to go!" it claims.

Another letter comes from one of the pro-Obama picketers shown in the Sidewalk to Nowhere video. Get a job! And other flavors, sipped previously, of the pure milk of human kindness.

And what would the letters section be without a taxpayers-are-going-to-take-it-in-the-shorts warning about what will happen when the socialist Obama becomes president?

Finally, the Lehigh Valley Conservative, one of the Call's featured blogs, teaches us all something about the nature of equality. And it's this:
The Democrats are giving away money to the "non-working class" just to get votes. If Barack Obama, ACORN and the rest of the corrupt win the election, we'll be destroyed because those people don't cotton to Judeo/Christian belief.

"Billions have been given away to the 'underprivelaged' [sic] and 'disenfranchised,' it gently chides.

Monday, October 13, 2008

THE LEHIGH VALLEY CRANK: Common animal may not decide the election


Socialist communist terrorist Obama lover, go to Russia!

The Sidewalk to Nowhere video taken outside Lehigh's Stabler Arena the day of the McCain/Palin rally last week showed a variety of cranks, now older, the type of which DD knew well in the late Eighties. Also on parade, many people who, rather than behaving badly, smiled and passed by the cameraman and some Obama supporters, there merely to bait them.

Back then DD came up with the idea for a weekend column at the newspaper called Nightclubbing.

It was humorous and supercilious, its job to go out to Valley's entertainment spots and watering holes and write about local entertainers and various audiences. I knew it would catch people, often well beyond well-oiled, behaving despicably.

For instance, one sweat-inducing moment came at a place called Jeff's City Line pub on a comedy night. Jeff's was a gay bar and the booker for the event, a straight man, had brought in a about half a dozen semi-pro struggling stand-ups, some of whom -- amazingly -- did not seem to realize the club was a gay hang-out. So one slob got onstage and promptly began telling a series of jokes in very poor taste about gay people from the POV of a straight man. The place almost spontaneously combusted.

The Airport Music Hall, an old supermarket next to a stripper joint out in one of Allentown's many concrete-and-asphalt wastelands, earned the slogan, "Another night, another fight," for its punk rock concerts.

And if you were unfortunate enough to have to attend a meeting of local councilmen in the small town of Bath, you would find them calling absent rivals queer -- imagine "that [Johnny Siegenthal], he's a 'funny' boy" -- and so on.

And to see guys beating up women in public was not as uncommon as you might think.

Which brings us back to the exterior of the Stabler Arena, an old haunt.

So the image of an old white man, waddling down the Stabler Arena sidewalk, muttering, "Commie faggots, commie faggots," isn't stupefying. Cranks and assholes were and are easy to find in the Valley. And if you're on hand to give 'em a little poke, they will perk up and bark menacingly for you.

"I believe [Obama] supports terrorism," claimed one fool, after being goaded.

"Socialist swine!" another curses. A constant mixed-up refrain of "Socialism! Communism! Go to Russia! Get a job!" is heard, just before one crew bursts into a stanza of "God Bless America." No blood is spilt, no cameras smashed, and these people are, at worst, unintentionally funny, an embarrassment to themselves and their party.

What's more dismaying, though, is the image of one middle-aged woman, turning slowly to the camera and saying, "Son, he is a Muslim."

She mirrors the addled lady now known famously as the person who stood up in front of John McCain and called Obama an Arab. McCain, compelled to do something, told her he knew his rival to be a decent man. And was booed for it.

But McCain can no longer have his cake and eat it to in this matter. Any decent person with half a brain knows you can't have a running mate, Sarah Palin, insisting Barack Obama pals around with terrorists and be regarded as anything but a cynical creep flailing for victory, playing any angle.

So McCain certainly has the white crank vote in the Lehigh Valley. And that of the confused and misled, like the woman who told the cameraman outside Stabler that she knew Obama was a Muslim with the gravity of someone convinced there had been a conspiracy to disguise the truth.

To put this into a little more context, your host takes you to The Morning Call again, still a very timid publication in a deeply conservative region.

The Stabler arena rally was big news nationally and around the world. The Call sent a number of reporters to cover it but did not portray the event as it would be seen in the rest of the nation, an image which contributed solidly to the crystallization of increasingly nasty crowds at McCain/Palin rallies.

It's coverage was not in line with the observation by Paul Krugman in the New York Times last week: "Something very ugly is taking shape on the political scene: as McCain’s chances fade, the crowds at his rallies are, by all accounts, increasingly gripped by insane rage."

Instead, when Lehigh Valley Republican Bill Platt referred to McCain's opponent as "Barack Hussein Obama," the paper reacted with a piece which afforded the man an opportunity to laugh it off. (See here.)

The newspaper fell back on the standard intellectually bankrupt waffle: "Some Obama supporters say the reference to the middle name was an attempt to create doubts about his background and faith. Obama is a Christian, but as many as one in 10 Americans have described him in polls as a Muslim."

Read the paper's inference this way: The use of this trick may have something to do with the ignorant belief that Obama is Muslim and be red meat for those calling him a terrorist, or it may not. Some people believe that. (The Los Angeles Times exercised the same semantic hop-scotch when covering the Stabler event, too.)

On October 12th, the Call published ONE letter from a reader named Louis Liebhaber.

"Pennsylvania is noted for having a large number of hate groups among the states," wrote Liebhaber. "Pennsylvanians, along with other Americans, are beginning to express in bolder ways their unwillingness to vote for Sen. Barack Obama because he is a black man.

"In this context,William Platt II, head of the Lehigh County Republican Committee, in whipping up the crowd for visit by Sen. McCain, asked the crowd how it would feel if they woke up to headlines on Nov. 5 that 'Barack Hussein Obama' won the election. Mr. Platt either knew exactly what he was doing, contributing to the hate-mongering that is destroying our society, or he is ignorant of the world around him, and should not claim to be a leader in the Republican Party.

"Instead of whipping the crowd into a frenzy about the good that John McCain could do for his country, Mr. Platt wrapped himself and Mr. McCain in the flag of hate and intolerance. Shame on Mr. Platt!"

If you know The Morning Call newspaper, it was actually a bit daring. When DD was in residence, the assistant managing editor detested getting phone calls from irate readers and generally hated allowing anything into print which suggested a local from the regular Bund might be less than a sterling character.

The letter writer, insisting McCain and Platt had wrapped themselves "in the flag of hate" was far more direct than its own piece on the latter, which concluded: "Some people at the [McCain/Palin] rally, [Platt] said, suggested he seek public office."

Laboring for an appearance of fairness, the Call's letters page published this counter piece, penned by someone named Brian Snyder:

"I don't understand the uproar when someone refers to the Democratic nominee for president by his full name ... It's no different then referring to, say, a man named William Jefferson Clinton by his complete name."

Heed the words of the reasonable man. Hussein, it's political symbolism -- no different than Jefferson. At all. Haw! DD's middle name is Christian. It's true! Don't you think I should run for office? I have a built-in advantage!

That the newspaper, like many others, in pretending that there's a logical argument to be made over whether the Republican usage of Obama's middle name at political rallies is part of an effort to assassinate his character or just something incidental, is contemptible.

In this context, there's little wonder at a crazy voter outside Stabler saying, "Son, he is a Muslim."

"Obama is the ultimate radical," ran the heading of another Call letter-writer, one day after the Stabler rally.

"If Barack Obama is elected, we will have the most inexperienced, left-wing radical liberal ever in the White House," wrote a man named David Krause. "If this is the change that people want, so be it."

"The campaign lies that are being spewed on every Obama TV commercial including the character attacks on McCain and Palin are all reminiscent of the Clinton years -- no change ... We do need change to get our country back. The American people depend upon it, the future of our children depend upon it, and the survival of the Free American republic depends upon it. People need to vote all of the liberal, socialist Democrats out of office."

Today, the newspaper again felt bold enough to print another letter condemning Republicans.

"The most recent allegation of the John McCain/Sarah Palin campaign that Barack Obama somehow consorts with terrorists, has been checked out by a number of media sources and proved to be baseless," wrote a man from Bethlehem.

"The only thing this allegation does prove is the complete intellectual and ethical bankruptcy of the Republican presidential ticket and the Republican Party itself, as well as the abject desperation of their campaign.

"Anyone still supporting this misbegotten ticket will of necessity look with shame and discomfort at the figure peering back in the bathroom mirror."

Always straining to be fair, editors balanced it with another letter riffing on the meme that Obama was a terrorist.

"Sen. Barack Obama is a political hack in the making," wrote one woman from Saucon Valley. "Strange but true, his past associations include Bill Ayers, an American terrorist and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright who proclaims, 'God Damn America' from his pulpit. Let's not forget that Obama said Pennsylvanians are people who hang on to '''their guns, their old-time religion, and blue collar work ethics.' There is an old saying that you can judge a man from the company he keeps."

Much of what the LV newspaper publishes -- or chooses to highlight -- often simply passes on the wisdom of the heevahava.

Take the Call's website.

It features a dozen or so local blogs, an unsurprisingly excellent exercise in nut-picking. Always striving to be fair, none were done from the perspective of liberal Democrats. (See See here.)

The highlight is reserved for a blog by a lady who, the paper boasts, is "a regular contributor to the Opinion pages at The Morning Call."

I leave readers to evaluate the worth of such a claim.

Alert readers will note that in this piece defending defending Sarah Palin, its creator manages to spell the name of the vice-presidential candidate wrong every time she uses it.

"I am not really a political junkie," she writes.

Another crank, the Lehigh Valley Conservative, incoherently mixes scripture, worries about an imminent new world order, and the belief that liberal Democrats -- who he refers to as socialists -- are evil.

"We have every Socialist, hater of America and God, all the slime balls who call themselves politicians and every pervert saying and/or asking [sic]. “— where is now their God?” -- Psalms 115:2 King James Bible," it babbles.

"The disappointment is we are trying to argue the issue as though their side has a legitimate position from which to present. We must elevate the argument to one that must have a Biblical, Constitutional position and if it doesn’t – what are we doing?"

DD's favorite, however, is reserved for a selection from Schuylkill County, by a blogger who refers to the foe as B. Hussein Obama.

"The Schuylkill County Republican Committee kicked off the campaign season with a $45/plate dinner at the Pottsville Club last night," it starts off, informatively.

However, it jumps the rails, too, on the Fox News-fed conspiracy theory that Barack Obama and his followers are going to instigate a coup in the voting booth.

"State GOP Chairman Robert Gleason warned the crowd that 'the only way Barack Obama will win Pennsylvania is if he steals the election. Don’t stand by and let him do it.'

While reading, one comes away gripped by the airs of grievance, that the mainstream media is in the tank for Obama -- a theme sometimes unimaginatively repeated in the Call's letter section, that Democrats/socialists are evil, and that our FREE NATION is about to topple if the wrong person is elected.

They're discouraging, crabbed and collectively as dumb as a pile of rocks, not much of a selection for the newspaper to be putting forward.

In closing, an excerpt from a Sunday editorial in a newspaper in York, Pennsyltucky, a conservative town with voting demographics much like the Lehigh Valley.

"[McCain] is essentially a snake-oil salesman, a narcissistic con artist whose personal ambition trumps his alleged patriotism, a hypocrite who condemns those who secrete sleaze into our discourse while vomiting huge amounts of political bile, all while sporting that reptilian grin of his," it spits.

"[To bring this up] would be entirely fair under the standards set forth by McCain and his running mate, Caribou Barbie."

That's York, not the socialist liberals storming the ramparts, delivering the news.

Almost a week after the Stabler Arena rally, the Morning Call's opinion page, helmed by Glenn Kranzley, finally gets around to addressing what's in front of its nose. And what the rest of us got in full measure: the stoking of hate by enraged nuts blurting out what John McCain himself dared not.

"It's hard to tell whether the tenor of the McCain-Palin campaign is more distressing to supporters or those who don't support the ticket," the newspaper begins enigmatically.

"Sen. John McCain is slipping behind Sen. Barack Obama in polls in Pennsylvania and other must-win states, and yet his TV ads, speeches and talking points don't change. For the most part, they attack Sen. Obama's past and his personal integrity.

"That focus has led to bitter outbursts from the crowds at McCain-Palin rallies, especially in the last week or so. A prime example came during their appearance Oct. 8 at Stabler Arena in Bethlehem. When the Obama name was mentioned from the stage, people responded with boos and shouts of 'No-bama,' which fall into the category of tough and passionate politics. But there also shouts of 'Treason!' and 'Liar!' At other places around the country, the shouts have been even more virulent and hateful.

"It isn't entirely fair to blame the top of the ticket for how supporters choose to express themselves."

Yes it is and it is the newspaper's waffling which makes matters worse. In the day after the election, the Morning Call's reporters did not meaningfully cover the behavior which today's opinion piece finally felt obligated to mention.

In the intervening period, pics and reports of the Stabler Arena rally went worldwide and the Sidewalk to Nowhere video of GOP cranks outside the Stabler Arena on YouTube went to 350,000+ views, a number a great deal larger than the newspaper's Sunday circulation.

What was the newspaper doing while this was going on?

Publishing stupid letters from readers asking what was wrong with using Barack Obama's middle name and how more attention had to be paid to his links with Bill Ayers, pretending it was airing reasonable views for people of varying opinions to chew over. Mentioning that Bill Platt had gotten a lot of calls right after he said "Barack Hussein Obama" and that some thought he should run for political office.

"The speed of discourse in these Internet days and the dominance of irony in almost all communications make for easy travel when a candidate chooses the low road," continues the newspaper.

"Get over it."

Wow. That's a scintillating and tough observation.

Read the rest here.

Morning Call letters

Obama is the ultimate radical

Speaker waved the flag of hate

Judge Obama by the company he keeps

Abject desperation in campaign

It's just his middle name

Comment insults the best and brightest

Media in the tank for Obama in not sufficiently covering link to Bill Ayers.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

HEY HEEVAHAVA! Inflamed by a vision of commie-fags

The Sidewalk to Nowhere, a video from the McCain/Palin rally in Bethlehem, Pennsyltucky, brings the Pennsyltucky heevahava into your home here.

Here the social ambiance of divebars on Bethlehem's southside in the mid-Eighties is retooled as Republican gang political motivation.

Commie faggot! Crache ton venin!

Previously on Hey Heevahava!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

SHOUT HEEVAHAVA, SHOUT! Crache ton venin!


"No-bama!" From Ohio, transmitted around the world, courtesy of AP, creating the impression we're all doughy cranks.

Wow! Big surprise! John McCain and Sarah Palin were in Bethlehem, Pennsyltucky, yesterday, and don't you forget it. In Coopersburg, for Hannity & Colmes, amiably chatting about Bill Ayers. If you hung with a terrorist, what did that make you? And if you would vote for a guy who hung with a terrorist, what did that MAKE YOU?!

And on the frontpage of today's LA Times, datelined Bethlehem, were DD once lived and went to school. Again creating the impression that a substantial number of people in Pennsyltucky are cretins -- something DD knows to be patently untrue. (Although, I'll concede some readers may not believe this.)

"The edgy tone of the rally [in Bethlehem's Lehigh University] was set even before the duo arrived onstage, when local Republican official William Platt warmed up the audience by twice referring to the Democratic nominee as "Barack Hussein Obama," reported Peter Nicholas.

"[It is a practice] critics contend is meant to peddle the false notion that Obama is Muslim. He is Christian," wrote the reporter.

Critics, but not the dumb ass, masquerading as an objective journalist, writing the piece.

"The crowd jeered when Obama's name was mentioned. People crowded into the gymnasium yelled out, 'He's a radical!' and in a play on his name, 'Abomination!'"

The latter has a certain Biblical quality.

"Sarah's hot!" yelled another person, according to the newspaper.

DD doesn't put much stock in outbursts furnished for color in current news coverage of the race. While it looks ugly, stupid and desperate -- ugly, stupid and desperate people are a dime a dozen in the US. Many of them vote. And perhaps many of them, as your host has reckoned before, while liking a good symbolic hate party, will be found face down and mumbling in some bar on election day rather than in the voting booth.

It's way too easy for reporters to record the spew of cranks and send it worldwide.

If only we had had a reporter from the Pottsville Republican at Pine Grove High School football games in the early Seventies. There was one season-ticket holder in his late twenties who continually embarrassed his community.

The Pine Grove High Football Cardinals were not a good team. In fact, they struggled to keep even home games close. When the other team would score, or a penalty flag would go against us, our special heevahava would shout "Homers!" -- the insult you hurl at referees when you're a visitor AT AN AWAY GAME.

"HOMERS!" the guy yelled. Again and again. So loud, you could hear it everywhere within the small field.

If you were at the far end of the stadium, the "r" sort of got lost in the wind, making it sound like "HOMOS!" Which made for a double dose of embarrassment.

We didn't have the mainstream media to send a picture of HOMERS-guy, mouth open in mid-cry, worldwide, though.

Hey Heevahava! Wave that "Obama will gut our military" sign! Speaking of gut ... this ad was paid for by the Lehigh Valley chapter of Obese White Guys for McCain/Palin.

Left out of much of the news from Lehigh University's Stabler Arena rally was another tidbit from a French journalist.

"Republican presidential nominee John McCain has taken to asking, 'Who is the real Barack Obama?' at rallies this week, leading one supporter in Pennsylvania, a blue-collar battleground state to shout back, 'he is a bomb,' reported AFP here.

"Before the rally, local Republican leader Bill Platt warmed up the crowd by several times referring to 'Barack Hussein Obama,' focusing on the Illinois senator's middle name, trying to highlight his differences with other Americans.

"Chants of 'Nobama, Nobama' mingled with cries of 'terrorist,' as one banner in the crowd declared: 'Go ahead, let the dogs out.'"

Perhaps unsurprisingly, no American news agency chose to note the "let the dogs out" sign. Was the French reporter being accurate?

Hard to say.

So DD went to the website of the Morning Call newspaper in Allentown. Lehigh University in Bethlehem is the Call's territory and it sent at least three reporters to the event.

None of them reported much, except for one rather tepid story, which mentioned Platt had been inundated with telephone calls after his use of "Barack Hussein Obama."

Another here was a puff piece on Palin's rockstar-like treatment in the Lehigh Valley. A third did some nut-picking, interviewing one crank who claimed she shifted her voter registration to Democrat to vote against Obama in the primary, and now is back to being a Republican.

"Virginia Salvatore of Bethlehem said she switched her registration to Democrat just to vote against Obama in Pennsylvania's April primary," reported the Call. "She changed it back afterward ... 'I'm so scared of him getting in,' said Salvatore, 70. 'Not enough is known about him. And I don't think enough emphasis is put on his friends and his voting.'"

The Bethlehem chapter of Obese White Guys for McCain/Palin makes it to England, here at The Telegraph.

Hey Heevahava! From the archive.

Monday, October 06, 2008

MELAMINE OR LUMBAGO? Kidney stones, cheap and profitable

Some of the most toxic bullshit peddled to the American public in the years since 9/11 has been the meme that Islamic terrorists had an easy grasp of science in the name of evil. And that they would use it to spread disease and death among us.

Sold by our government, which wishes you to be very afraid, always afraid, this idea has been the exact opposite of truth.

And now, finally, many people know the nasty and discouraging reality.

The most effective bioterrorist ever, Bruce Ivins, came out of the US government's biodefense infrastructure. OUR so-called good guys.

And the biggest threat to the safety of our food and drugs hasn't been al Qaeda men. It's been greedy Chinese and American businessmen working in the synergy of globalization, poisoning us with adulterants for the increase of profit.

Thanks to them, we now know that an unusual chemical, melamine, causes kidney stones in mammals -- specifically, pets and children.

And as melamine alerts reverberate around the world in the wake of China's dairy export industry, it affords an opportunity to look at bad chemistry while considering the scale of the global food market. And how vulnerable consumers are when garden-variety greed, not terrorism, is the driver in mass poisonings.

Read the entire analysis at el Reg here.

Sunday, October 05, 2008


Thanks to alert reader Steve, your host has a link to a YouTube clip of SNL's Jason Sedeikis, in character as Joe Biden, describing Scranton, Pennsyltucky. (See here.)

"I come from Scranton, Pennsylvania, and that's as hard-scrabble a place as you're going to find," he goes. "I'll show you around sometime and you'll see -- it's a hell hole. An absolute jerkwater of a town. You couldn't stand to spend a weekend there. It's just an awful, awful sad place, filled with sad, desperate people with no ambition. Nobody, I mean nobody, but me, has ever come out of that place. It's a genetic cesspool. So don't be telling me that I'm part of the Washington elite, because I come from the absolute worst place on earth -- Scranton, Pennsylvania. And Wilmington, Delaware, is not much better."

That's cold.

DD has really spent a weekend in Scranton. It was for a wrestling tournament in college in the Seventies. I regretted every minute of it. Look at it this way. When you were twenty, would you want to be spending time on the weekend drinking cheap beer and feeling up the rump and titties of your first really serious girlfriend? Or be stuck in a hotel room in Scranton with a bunch of glum guys, looking at gray sky, snow flakes and a street covered in cinders, when not having one's nose pushed into a rubber mat the rest of the time?

Of course, you could say the same stuff about most cities in the US. And many do. In the late Eighties/early Nineties, your host worked for a newspaper in Allentown, PA. A big business magazine, Forbes -- if my memory's accurate -- had just dubbed the town one of the most unlivable and charmless in the US in a yearly poll of America's best places for conducting business.

The morning editorial meeting was spent ranting about the calumny of it and what should be done. Finally, it was decided.

"This will be your project, Smith. Get something on those people," the section editor told me. It was to be a revenge operation.

And it was one I quietly avoided. Short attention span being the order of the day at the newspaper, the task was never pursued. What, exactly, did they want me to find out, anyway?

That the business magazine was run by Commies and liberals disguised as free-market capitalists?

It is only by cosmic accident that Scranton has come to be part of the national conversation in 2008. If you believe in a guiding deity, and one with a piquant sense of humor, then this is surely evidence of both.

When Sarah Palin namechecks Scranton in her acceptance speech and goes on about her closeness to Joe Six Pack, she (and many others) take an issue that's intrinsically stupid way too far. C'mon now, lady, a lot of us have been there. We drink six-packs of the cheap stuff and still distinguish between being there and not being there and the unimportance of both in the measurement of character.

"I cannot stand people who drop their ‘ing’s,’ mother used to tell me describing one of her pet peeves," wrote the editor and publisher of the Wilkes-Barre Times Leader on Sunday. (Think Scranton's sister city.) "It’s an insight into their laziness."

"Oh Boy. Mother would not like Palin’s folksy, I-am-one-of-youse dialect."

And Joe Biden covers the same territory. It's as if the VP choices were in a verbal arms race seeking to win the title: Most Authentic Heevahava.

"Joe Biden was born at Mercy Hospital, went to school at St. Paul's, played baseball at Maloney Field, scrapped with local toughs, skinned his knees on the dirt roads," wrote some tourist at the Washington Post a couple weeks back, getting his writerly piece of the Scranton pie.

"When he returns to his old Green Ridge neighborhood, where he spent the first 10 years of his life, he likes to pick up a 'regular hoagie,' the one with the special sauce, at Hank's Hoagies."

Yes, who among us does not like regular hoagies with special sauce? The elitists and snobs reveal themselves when they hold their noses.

"This city of working-class charm and struggle has become a microcosm of all the fears and hopes and restlessness of Democrats who believe they should win this presidential election but are not convinced they will," continued the Post, troweling it on as thick as possible.

Common geography doesn't guarantee affinity. And absence, in my experience, almost never makes the heart grow fond.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

THE MAN WHO SAW BLACK DOTS: Annoying scientist who got anthrax analysis wrong tabbed by Nature for sake of even more annoyance

Like Science magazine, Nature has a news operation. Articles published on the news side of the peer-reviewed journal aren't peer-reviewed science, a distinction that sometimes eludes laymen.

Early this week Nature's news operation jumped into the anthrax case with a piece subtitled, "Did Bruce Ivins weaponize deadly spores?" Readers should know that, theoretically, Nature is just the place to be first with the most on anthrax. In this case, it's last with the least, adding another tedious article on whether or not the anthrax was modified to an already considerable pile chewing the subject to bits.

The last time your host dealt with the matter of the attack anthrax spores, he ended the piece with a quote from Peter Jahrling. Jahrling had been queried by David Willman of the Los Angeles Times and recanted a very damaging claim he had made about the nature of the mailed powders years ago, claiming them to be weaponized.

"I should never have ventured into this area," Jahrling told the LATimes.

How long did this reluctance last? About a week, apparently.

Readers grasp the chain of events: Famous scientist says he was all wet and professes to wishing to have butted out when making claims about the attack anthrax spores. Nature then logically returns to Jahrling, a bad source, for a story to continue the discussion on whether or not the attack spores were weaponized. That's instead of going to the scientist who consulted to the FBI and went to the trouble of trying to actually nail down where the silicon was in the anthrax.

"Under an electron microscope, Jahrling and a colleague observed black dots ..." reports Nature. That anthrax sure was special stuff: "It literally jumped off the spatula and was repelled by the weighing paper; it was like nothing I had ever seen before," Jahrling was quoted as saying.

Actually, your host used to routinely see stuff like it in research days.

Powders of biochemical preparations, including occasional small freeze-dried samples of bacteria of interest, often floated around, proving maddeningly difficult to weigh and handle. Which is why, even in the case of non-pathogens, we tended to avoid reducing bacterial suspensions to dry powders.

"The truth will come out when all the data are revealed," Jahrling gnomically tells Nature. "But there is no indication from the FBI that more data are forthcoming anytime soon," Nature gnomically informs readers.

Crawling from the woodwork

In related news, Barbara Hatch Rosenberg has joined the ranks of concerned scientists allegedly hoping to help the poor muddled boffins of the FBI get things right.

Readers may recall Rosenberg as a once-upon-a-time expert for the Federation of American Scientists, her relationship with that organization irreversibly severed when she became involved in peddling the very influential (but crank's) theory that Steven J. Hatfill was the anthrax mailer.

"An overarching question is whether Dr. Ivins could be eliminated as a suspect, or others potentially implicated, by considering other aspects of the attack anthrax itself and the procedures that could have been used to produce it," writes Rosenberg in "Comments on the anthrax investigation's scientific forensics," archived here.

"At its August 6, 2008 Press Conference the FBI released an Affidavit (4) stating that the anthrax in the NY Post and Brokaw letters contained low levels of B. subtilis, not found in the Senate anthrax or in the source anthrax at USAMRIID," writes Rosenberg. "The contaminant must have been introduced when the anthrax for the first set of letters was grown. This implies that the person who grew that anthrax was also working with B. subtilis. Bruce Ivins' work did not call for the use of B. subtilis or any other anthrax simulant. Avoidance of contamination in anthrax preparations was essential for his work in testing vaccines."

Sounds sane, not crazy. Until one reads Bruce Ivins's list of scholarly publications here.

"Immunization against anthrax with aromatic compound-dependent (Aro-) mutants of Bacillus anthracis and with recombinant strains of Bacillus subtilis that produce anthrax protective antigen," reads one of two papers with Ivins as the primary author. (Infection & Immunity. 58(2):303-8, 1990.)

Oof! Still not quite ready for prime-time, are we.

A thoughtful and very logical discussion of the anthrax case and recent developments, written by author Ed Lake, is here.