HAPPY TIMES FROM THE EASTERN FRONT (AND HOLLYWOOD): Will flog dead horses for cash
Today's Los Angeles Times featured Curveball on the frontpage. Again.
You would have to have been a Trappist monk to miss the story of the US government's prime convenience -- the Iraqi petty crook who made up stories about mobile germ warfare laboratories, sold overtime because it fit the Bush administration's arguments for war.
Reporter Bob Drogin was responsible for the piece, one which reveals no new information. Big surprise, Curveball runs from reporters. He insists it wasn't his fault. And he lies, lies, lies, and lies.
Did you know Curveball lies?
Cue snippet of Star Trek episode "I, Mudd" -- the part where Mudd tells Norman the android he is lying. Smokes comes out of the head.
Curveball was last mentioned here because Hollywood optioned a movie on him, specifically built around reporter Drogin's book of the same name.
From this readers can intuit the only reason why it is being made is because Drogin must have a powerful agent.
So, saddle up to flog Curveball around the block for the umpty-umth time, squeezing every last bit of value from the sick little worm, first for the benefit of the Bush administration's war, then the journalist still trying to hump some more blood out of it.
Would you go to see Curveball, the movie?
It's been allegedly appraised by Leonard DiCaprio's management company as one of the "hottest unproduced screenplays of 2007," solidly in at #5, just ahead of "I Want to Fuck Your Sister."
No, DD does not make this up.
"Curveball - Eastern Promises screenwriter Steve Knight’s adaptation of award-winning Los Angeles Times reporter Bob Drogin’s book Curveball ... about an Iraqi informant code-named ‘Curveball’ who gave 'flawed information about biological weapons that the U.S. government used to justify the war in Iraq.' The book cover reads 'an inside story of intrigue and incompetence at at the highest levels of government.' Project is set up at Focus Features," reads a Net article here.
In the past DD has slathered the superciliousness on thick when it comes to Hollywood purporting to furnish high drama on the Iraq War. Movies of this nature have been sent to the glue factory and shot. Deservedly so.
DD is predicting that if "Curveball" actually gets made, it will be DOA its first week in theatres, rushed to DVD and Pay-per-View as quickly as possible.
How many movies on the heroics and laugh-a-minute antics of the US government and military in Iraq do theatre-goers yearn to see?
Coming on HBO is the mini-series adaptation of "Generation Kill," a movie on the charge of the Marines' First Recon into Iraq. Written by Rolling Stone reporter Evan Wright, it was immensely popular in about the same time frame as the joy over "Mission Accomplished!"
Yeah, yukking it up over Iraqis standing along the side of the road as the bombardment goes down up ahead sure is enticing. A sure winner in 2008.
Theoretical movie titles probably already pitched to Hollywood.Hanging Saddam
: Follows the story of the flight of the Iraqi dictator from Baghdad until his execution in 2006. During captivity Hussein is befriended by a kindly American soldier who brings him meals and advice, softening the merciless tyrant into realizing the enormity of his crimes and allowing him to meet his end with grace.The Bomb in My Garden
: The story of a kindly Iraqi scientist and his flight from Iraq, aided by the heroic and kindly journalist, Kurt Pitzer. Mahdi Obeidi, played by Omar Shariff, is keeping atom bomb parts from the tyrant Saddam Hussein. They are hidden under his roses but what can Obeidi do now that the forces of anarchy are swirling in Iraq as a result of invasion? Oh wait, this is being made.Who's Laughing Now -- The Fast Life and Times of Comical Ali
: The story of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, the Iraqi briefer famous as one of George W. Bush's favorite comics -- at the beginning of the war. The movie starts with
the comical one delivering the lines: "I told you yesterday that the shock has backfired on them. Indeed, they are shocked because of what they have seen. No one received them with roses. They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will backfire on them."
Comical Ali is brought to America to face trial for lying during a war but a mistrial is declared when no one can be found for jury duty who doesn't laugh inappropriately during voir dire. Ali is given a faux news show on cable called "You Don't Say!" and it becomes very popular, particularly for his reassuring motto: "No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"